


Watch the World Burn; From the Ashes

by ShadowThorne



Series: Watch the World Burn [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowThorne/pseuds/ShadowThorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of WtWB; Grimmjow ends it all but someone's not willing to give up on him just yet. Forced back to the world of the living, he's left to figure out why his dead lover wont let them reunite in the afterlife while another man just as broken is thrust into his life. Connected deeper than either could imagine, both their pasts and their future seem tied together. AU Yaoi</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS, seriously. Thanks to a certain person, whom I will gladly point out (Storm...*cough*) this idea was born. IT IS A CONTINUATION OF WATCH THE WORLD BURN. It's still sad, especially in the beginning, but it should end on a slightly happier note later on. Because this second part has the potential to be rather lengthy, I've split it up. There will be at least one more chapter after this.
> 
> If you have not read Watch the World Burn, grab a box of tissues and please do, else this wont make a whole lot of sense...
> 
> Anyway, onto the story! Enjoy!

_Soft, warm lips brushed against the shell of his ear, familiar, perfect. Hot breath fanned across his neck and jaw and Grimmjow let a smile tilt his pale lips, though he couldn't open his eyes to see his lover's face. His body felt so heavy but it didn't matter. He no longer felt the cold that rushed in while his blood dripped to the floor and soaked into the carpet. He didn't feel the pain of his weakening heart trying desperately to keep him anchored in the world of the living. He didn't notice as his lips took on a bluish color with the lack of oxygen as his lungs gave out and he stopped breathing._

_He was with Ichigo again. That was all that mattered. He would never be able to mistake the way the smaller man felt against him; the warm lips at his ear, whispering words in a sweet, deep voice. The slim fingers dancing across his chest, feeling almost hot against his unnaturally cold flesh before they ghosted up to rest along the side of his face, thumb brushing along the smooth skin over his high cheek bone. This was right. This was how things were supposed to be. If they couldn't be together in life than he would bring them together in death. This was what he wanted._

_A cruel twist of fate made him slowly realize what Ichigo was saying to him, his faltering mind slowly processing the whispered words against his ear as it shut down. A single beat of his broken heart thudded painfully in his hollow chest. A wretched, sobbing gasp tore from his throat, the first breath he'd taken in too long. The air burned going down but he could only focus on the whispered words ringing in his skull._

" _I love you, Grimmjow... and I can't let you do this..."_

"Clear!" The shouted words of the paramedic filled the bedroom, the smell of sterile equipment and rubber gloves trying to drown out the cloying scent of blood. The bluenette's chest heaved under the paddles of the defibrillator and a single, broken breath was pulled into his lungs.

A different medic holding a clear plastic device and forcing oxygen into the man's lungs brought his fingers to the side of the man's throat. "I've got a pulse."

The defibrillator was put away, a stretcher lowered beside the big man. One of the EMTs pulled a framed picture from the victim's lap, glancing at it as the bluenette was loaded onto the backboard and wheeled out of the house. He shoved the photo into another EMT's hands as he turned to follow the stretcher. "Call Dr. Kurosaki and have him meet us at the ER."

The other worker looked down at the picture shoved into his hands. Shaking his head slightly, the motion sad and regretful, the man pulled his cell from his pocket and quickly pulled up Isshin's number.

••••••

Isshin scrubbed a hand down his tired features, finally crossing his arms as he stared through the little window of the ER room where the man he considered his second son lay unnaturally still, a monitor keeping check of his pulse and multiple IVs set up to force fluids into his body, as well as to replace the blood he had lost. The elder Kurosaki shook his head, his dark brows furrowed, unable to hide the writhing emotions in his dark eyes.

First his son was murdered, now his son's lover was trying to join the boy. Isshin fingered the edge of the note the paramedics had found near by. The bluenette's blood had spread through the carpet and stained one edge but it couldn't hide the pain filled words written there, nor the tears that had tracked the page.

  
_I promised to protect him and I failed._  
I promised you I wouldn't do anything stupid and I lied.  
I promised you I wouldn't do this, but I can't live without him.  
I promised to love him forever.  
It's the only promise I can keep.

_Yuzu, Karin, Isshin.  
I truly am sorry._

_I'm going to see Ichigo again._

Grimmjow's doctor slowly exited the room, patting Isshin's shoulder lightly. It was comforting to know the doctor that had been assigned to the bluenette. The man was one of the best. Isshin didn't bother pulling his gaze from Grimmjow's form, his heart heavy and throbbing in his chest. He felt old beyond his years, worn down and ready for the tides to change. His children, all of them, including Grimmjow, were supposed to burry him, not the other way around.

"He's a tough bastard, Isshin." The doctor said as he stood by his colleague. "His body's fighting even if he didn't want it to..."

Isshin seemed to deflate. Oh but wasn't that the truth; Grimmjow didn't want to fight, he didn't want to try to live without what had been taken from him. He made that more than clear. Yet however selfish it may have been, Isshin wasn't willing to give up on him. He knew without doubt that Ichigo wouldn't have wanted this and he would do anything for his son. For his sons.

Without needing to ask permission, Isshin let himself into the room. He was doctor, after all, he knew what was going on. Grimmjow had been stabilized and while a tube fed extra oxygen to him, he breathed on his own and his heartbeat was steady and strong. Too steady and too strong for all the pain and loss that was etched across Grimmjow's paler than normal features, even in his unconscious state.

"Oh Grimmjow, my boy..." Isshin all but whispered, his voice raw and tired as he pulled a chair closer to the bluenette's bedside. "How are we going to make it through this?"

The older man sat lost in his thoughts and memories for a while, the steady and reassuring beep of Grimmjow's EKG monitor creating a background noise that let him know the boy was still fighting. The patterned changed ever so slightly, growing faster for a moment before it evened out again but a moment was all it took to shake Isshin from his mind, pulling his dark brows together and making worry gnaw in his gut. His dark eyes darted to the monitors, quickly scanning the younger's vitals and reading his signs. The older man stood from his chair and neared Grimmjow's bedside as blue brows furrowed and the younger man's features twisted into a pained expression, a deep, uneven breath filling his lungs and making his chest rise.

Slowly, blue eyes revealed themselves, blurry and unfocused but stunning in their intense color. They seemed colder than they once were. A deep, shuddering breath left the man as Grimmjow slowly let his head fall to the side, his gaze finding Isshin's worried face.

"I-Is...shin...?" His deep voice was quiet, confused and unsure as Grimmjow tried to focus on the figure standing beside him.

Isshin placed his hand in one of Grimmjow's, squeezing lightly in a comforting gesture. He was careful of the thick, white bandages wrapped around the bluenette's wrists, ending midway up his forearms. He knew what they hid, the doctor had told him the damage had been deep. "I'm here, Grimm..."

The younger man squeezed back but there was no strength behind it, whether it was from the wounds or the medication keeping him from feeling the wounds was impossible to tell just yet. Blue brows furrowed further as Grimmjow's eyes scanned over the room, trying to piece together what was going on. Something clicked and the muscle of the bluenette's jaw tightened before his breathing grew ragged and his brows shot up in a lost and helpless expression. There was no masking the horror, the vulnerability or the raw pain in his gaze. His watery eyes were directed back up at Isshin as a single, broken word tumbled from his lips. "why?"

Why was Isshin there? Why wasn't Ichigo with him? Why was he laying in a hospital? Why was he still alive? Tears rolled down the man's face as he closed his eyes against the pain that no medication could dull. Still too soon after his close encounter, Grimmjow lay nearly completely still, unable to move around much but his chest heaved with his emotion and mumbled words tumbled from his trembling lips as his fingers weakly flexed against Isshin's hand and the sheets on his other side.

Isshin's jaw worked as he tried to answer the man but his words failed him. There were too many questions in that one word and not enough answers. Guilt washed over the older man but he knew it was right that Grimmjow hadn't been allowed to die.

It didn't take long for Grimmjow's weakened body to give out on him and his head rolled back to the side as he slipped into blessed unconsciousness once more, his tears staining the pillow and clinging to his long lashes, his hand going limp in Isshin's own.

The elder man fell heavily into his chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. After a minute, he whipped at his face and ignored as his fingers came away wet.

Drying them on his pants he scooted to the edge of his chair and gently rolled Grimmjow's arm over so that his palm was face up. Carefully unrolling the bandaging, he gave himself a peek of just what the EMTs had found.

Fine, dark stitching held the jagged wounds closed but even without being able to see passed the surface, Isshin could tell they weren't pretty. Running lengthwise down the underside of the man's thick arms, the cuts had not been simply a cry for help or a way to alleviate the emotional pain. The marks proved Grimmjow had been seriously trying to end his life and they tore at Isshin's heart. The scars would forever mar the man's golden skin, but Isshin knew it was the scars over Grimmjow's heart, the ones that no one could see, that would bother the bluenette the most. The elder man slowly rewound the bandaging, securing the end by tucking it under the edge of where it had already been wrapped.

He gently settled Grimmjow's big hand across his abdomen and leaned back in his chair again, bringing his hand to his face as he preyed with everything he had that Ichigo could hear him and would forgive him for nearly letting Grimmjow slip away.

The next few days were touch and go. Grimmjow's body refused to give up and fought hard against the damage that had been done to it but the bluenette's mindset was something else entirely. The few occasions he awakened, he said not a word and it was all too clear he could remember every horrible detail he didn't wish to relive.

At first the staff feared he would reattempt to take his life and measures were even taken to insure he didn't. He was kept under constant surveillance and a different room had been prepared, one that was used for patients that were mentally unstable and dangerous, with padded cuffs attached to the bed to keep the patient mostly immobile. But the extra precautions were unnecessary. One thing kept Grimmjow alive, kept him from seeing his attempts through until the end. One little phrase, barely a handful of words saved his life not for the first time.

" _I love you, Grimmjow... and I can't let you do this..."_

Grimmjow stared at the white wall at the foot of his bed as a nurse changed the bandages that wrapped his wrists and lower arms. The woman chattered to him, telling him about the lovely day outside and that she was happy to see him awake this time around. He didn't respond, he hardly even heard her. But the staff had grown used to the silence in the few days he had been there.

As the woman stood up, her job done, an almost hesitant knock at the room's door pulled Grimmjow's gaze away from the wall. His blue eyes slowly coasted toward his left to see two little girls slowly enter the room, Isshin standing just behind them. The older man stopped the nurse in the doorway, inquiring about how Grimmjow's wounds were healing but the bluenette's attention was anchored to Karin and Yuzu.

They seemed hesitant, even Karin's normally bold demeanor was lessened as the two looked in at him. "Uhh...Grimmy-nii..."

Karin's gaze snapped to her twin, her darker eyes seething. "Yuzu!"

Before the girl could continue to chastise her sister, Yuzu pinned her with an uncharacteristically stern glare. "Daddy said he and Ichi were both our big brothers now. That doesn't change because Ichi-nii..."

Both girls paused as Yuzu's words caught up to them, their eyes wide. Grimmjow snorted a frail laugh, tears blurring his vision as a slight but genuine smile tilted his lips, the first since he had woken up in the hospital.

Isshin watched as the twins looked back to the bed ridden man. They had been begging and demanding to see him since Isshin had told them he was sick and in the hospital. Of course he hadn't been able to tell them why he was sick. Like their brother had been, they were both too intelligent for their young age and they would have understood too well. But perhaps bringing them to visit would be good for their brother's mourning lover.

Grimmjow slowly lifted one his hands and waved the girls forward, the motion slow and stiff, obviously uncomfortable. They scrambled to his side, Karin running around the foot of the bed to his opposite side. They hardly paused before climbing up onto the bed to lay at the man's side.

Isshin surged a step forward, thinking to stop them and not wanting either to accidentally hurt the man. "Ah! Girls-" His words froze as Grimmjow carefully wrapped his arms around their small shoulders and they cuddled up next to him the way they used to with Ichigo. The smile on Grimmjow's face grew, loosing a touch of it's sadness.

"Dad said you were sick." Karin said, looking at the white bandaging wrapping Grimmjow's arms. She reached up and wrapped her little fingers around his wrist where it settled against her arm to emphasize her point. "But goatface lied to us. You hurt yourself."

Grimmjow flinched at the extra pressure to his wounds and his brows furrowed as his gaze fell from Karin's face to the blanket that had been thrown over his lap.

"No...he didn't lie to you." The bluenette's voice was rough and barely above a whisper. "I did hurt myself, but I did it because I was sick."

Isshin quietly lowered himself to sit in the chair beside the younger man's bed, his gaze never leaving the three of them as he listened to what Grimmjow said.

"Are you feeling better now?" Yuzu asked from his other side.

Grimmjow looked down at her, his muscled chest raising and falling a few times before he could answer her. "I'm trying."

"Better try harder." Karin mumbled, settling her head against Grimmjow's chest. "Coz you still haven't visited Ichi-nii."

"And you need to come take Tensa home." Yuzu pouted as she rested her head on the other side of his chest. "I think he misses you."

Grimmjow's arms tightened around the twins and he nodded, something determined sparkling in his gaze, something a little more alive than a few minutes ago. He looked over Yuzu to where Isshin sat but his thanks and his apologies didn't need to be said aloud. Isshin could see them both clearly written across the man's features. Minutes ticked by in comfortable silence as Grimmjow's steady heartbeat lulled the twins into a light nap.

Isshin watched as Grimmjow lay still, his head resting back against his pillows and his gaze trained on the white ceiling. He could practically see the man's thoughts whirling in his blue eyes. The older man almost hated to break him from whatever he had lost himself in, but his own thoughts were demanding to be given voice to. So he asked the question that had been burning a hole in his tongue for a while now. It was something he just had to know.

The EMTs that had arrived to take Grimmjow to the ER had told Isshin that the younger man had succeeded in his attempts. He had been dead when they found him sitting in his bedroom; no pulse, no breathing. They had held little hope as they laid him flat on the floor and began attempting to bring him back. But they had managed it.

Still, for those few minutes...Grimmjow had left this world and the last line of his note had haunted Isshin since he had gotten that horrible call the night Grimmjow was found. "Grimm... Did-did you get to see him again?"

Grimmjow didn't move but he closed his eyes and blocked out the world around him as he blocked in his emotions. The barest nod was Isshin's answer after a moment, accompanied by a shuddering breath before Grimmjow spoke. "I did."

Isshin wanted to ask, he really did. It took every ounce of his control not to ask what his son had done or said, but he refused to intrude on whatever last moment the two had shared. He didn't need to ask and the words tumbled from Grimmjow's lips without prompt. He wouldn't deny his beloved Ichigo's father that.

"He told me...he said he wouldn't let me..." His words faltered, his quiet voice trailing off, but the meaning was clear enough.

Isshin couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him as he imagined Ichigo telling Grimmjow he wouldn't let him commit suicide, wouldn't let him join him in whatever afterlife there was. It sounded just like Ichigo. Even in death, his boy was a sweet and caring young man. And there had been nothing he cared for more than he had loved Grimmjow.

Blue eyes opened and cornered to look at Isshin. The small smile on Isshin's face was contagious and Grimmjow nodded slightly in agreement to the unspoken words that hovered between them.

When the nurse returned, she smiled as she opened the door to the quiet room, finding only Dr. Kurosaki still awake. She quietly greeted him and went about her business as the man watched. It took her little time to complete her check up, recording the bluenette's stats down in his chart. With the way his arms were thrown around the twins' shoulders it made him easy access and so she allowed them to stay curled up beside him. Still recovering from his brush with death, Grimmjow only stirred as the woman was readying to leave.

"So when can I get out of here?" Grimmjow asked quietly as she was walking out of the door.

The nurse paused in the doorway, turning back to look at him. "Well...I'll have to talk to the doctor, but...there are precautions we must take with patients that may be..." She paused, unsure how to phrase what she was trying to tell the man. It was a delicate situation, after all.

But Grimmjow understood and he nodded, gingerly clenching his hands into fists and feeling as the stitching pulled at the skin and muscle of his forearms and wrists. "With suicidal patients." He finished for her.

The woman nodded sadly and turned to leave once more. Eventually Isshin roused the girls from their nap with the intent to take them home. As they carefully climbed down from the bed, Grimmjow gingerly levered himself into a sitting position, throwing his legs over the side. Karin and Yuzu wrapped their little arms around his waist while they said their goodbyes and the bluenette smiled as he hugged them back.

Isshin pulled him into a fatherly hug, big hand patting the younger man's back. It was a comforting embrace and it meant more than just a hug to Grimmjow. Even without Ichigo, this was still his family. They would always be his family.

"Don't dwell on the 'whys', Grimm..." Isshin whispered as he pulled back, holding the man at arm's length and searching the blue eyes before his own. "There's a reason he helped the paramedics bring you back to us."

Grimmjow's gaze fell from Isshin's, sorrow swirling in their depths, but he promised the man he would try. All he could do was try.

Early the next morning, just before the nurse returned to administer his medication and check on his wounds, Grimmjow was awakened by voices in the hall. Worn out and tired and just a bit cranky, he carefully sat up and threw his feet to the floor. Standing oh so slowly and wincing at how weak his body felt, he tugged his IV along with him as he let his curiosity guide him to the door.

He opened it a crack and peeked out just as an odd voice cried out, the tone high pitched but distinctly male. There was a strange quality to it and Grimmjow didn't catch what had been said but he did catch as an elderly nurse began good-naturedly chastising the young man for whatever he had said.

Blue brows furrowing, Grimmjow stifled a yawn as a pale figure was wheeled toward the room across from his own. Slumped in the wheelchair at a seemingly uncomfortable angle, it was clear the man was being heavily medicated. An IV of clear fluids was set up to pump liquids into him and it seemed the majority of the man's visible body was wrapped in loose gauze. Grimmjow recognized a burn victim when he saw one and whatever had happened to the man had been more than a simple stove accident.

Both of the man's arms were wrapped in the bandaging, his hands wrapped as well where they sat in his lap. The side of his pale neck and face was red and irritated from the heat of the flames and his white hair had been cut short to get rid of the dead, singed areas.

"Shhhh..." The nurse that pushed the wheel chair shushed the young man, shaking her head slowly. Her tone was friendly enough, a hint of amusement in it, like she genuinely enjoyed taking care of her charge. "Other patients are trying to sleep. I'm not even sure why you're awake right now."

"Tch." The young man made the effort to tilt his head up to look at the woman, squinting in the harsh lighting of the hallway before he let his head roll to the side. When he spoke, his words were slurred through the lilting tone as though he would fall asleep at any minute. "Maybe ya shouldn' wake me up at stupid hours ta take tha' damn medicine. S'not like it actually helps. An' where we goin' anyway?"

The nurse chuckled, stepping around the chair to open the door to the young man's new room. "You get a new room now that you don't need to be in intensive care any longer and that medicine is a burn salve. It should help with your healing. The doctor thinks most of the scarring shouldn't be too bad, just in a few places. Pretty lucky, really. With how pale you are it would have stood out horribly."

"Don' care 'bout the scarrin'." The man mumbled, his demeanor taking a swift turn from teasing to sulking and obviously upset. "Why ain't ya let me see Ren yet?"

The nurse's attitude changed as well and before she wheeled the man into his room, she knelt down in front of him, patting his knee lightly. Her face showed genuine sorrow as she spoke in a sad, slow tone like she had explained this before. "Oh honey...Ren didn't make it...remember?"

"Oh yeah..." The young man's distorted tone was a harsh whisper before he fell silent, his ashen brows furrowed into a deep scowl. "... I couldn' save 'im..."

He said not another word as he was wheeled into the room. Bringing the chair up beside the bed, the nurse helped lift the young man to the bed and folded the thin blankets over his legs. She settled the saline bag for the IV drip on it's hook beside the bed and before she even made it back out of the room, the pain medication that had been given to the young man had knocked him back out again, leaving him laying still and motionless in the new hospital room.

Frowning slightly, Grimmjow shook his head and gingerly made his way back to his own bed. Something tugged at his insides and made them roil for the young man, but this was a hospital, he shouldn't be surprised to see other injured and recovering people, nor people with tragic pasts like his own.

Only a few hours later, as the sun was finally lightening the sky and the city streets were beginning to bustle with activity, Grimmjow watched as his nurse recorded his stats down in the little chart she carried with her every time she checked up on him. Everything showing mostly normal signs, she set her chart aside and began unwinding the white bandaging from Grimmjow's wrists and forearms to check the progress of his healing.

He clenched his hands into fists, rotated his wrists and went through a few other motions that his nurse dictated he do while she gently probed at the muscles and ligaments running along his lower arms. While he held less strength than he should have, the lady assured him it would return as he continued healing and began using the damaged muscle more. Next she checked the stitching it's self, making sure his flesh was healing and the wounds were clean.

As she picked up the white bandaging to begin wrapping his arms back up, Grimmjow spoke in a quite voice, though his naturally gruff rumble was present once more. "Can you leave that off?"

"Hmm?" The nurse paused and looked up at him. She smiled sweetly and rolled the bandaging up before setting it on the table beside the bluenette's bed. "Oh, of course we can. We only keep the stitching covered for so long because most patients don't really like seeing their self inflicted wounds."

Grimmjow shrugged, glancing down at the dark stitching and the puckered tracks they covered. They were just marks. They would heal and fade until they were nearly invisible, until only he knew what they were. He had struggled, but Ichigo wanted him to live, so he would and he wouldn't be ashamed of his scars. "There's nothing wrong with scars."

"No, there isn't." The woman smiled as she stood, silently happy at how far the young man in her care had come since his arrival only a short while ago. She turned toward the door, bidding her charge a good morning and telling him she'd be back later, and made to leave. Just as she was opening his door, something shattered in the hallway, loud and startling and very unexpected. The nurse gasped in surprise as she jumped, then threw the door open and took off into the hall as the commotion got louder.

A little slower, Grimmjow jumped from his bed and followed after her as shouting erupted from the room across the hall, the lilting voice familiar and very unhappy.

"How dare ya say tha'!" Menace and anger roiled through the voice, edging near threatening.

Something else crashed to the ground with a hollow clatter as Grimmjow exited his room and slowly, almost hesitantly crossed the hall toward where his nurse had gone. A habit instilled in him by his deceased lover, the bluenette could never stay away from trouble, even if it didn't concern him. He almost always had to step in if there was something he could do, something Ichigo had done countless times while they had been together.

The door to the room opposite his own was already thrown wide, allowing him to see as a tray that had held a few bottles of pills and a glass of water slid across the floor. The glass had already been thrown across the room, shattering against the door and raining broken shards across the tile. The cap came off one of the bottles, scattering pills to mix with the glass as they slid across the room.

Two police officers stood in the room, hands at their weapons from the pale man's violent and sudden outburst. The burn victim pushed his nurse away as she tried to calm him. His chest heaved with the force he had put into swiping the tray from his bedside and his golden eyes blazed with his anger as he stared down the officers from where he sat in his bed. Grimmjow had no doubt the man would have been up and in their faces had he been capable of moving that swiftly.

"Ren's been clean for almos' four months, don' ya dare come in 'ere and tell me he wasn'!" The man bared white teeth as he clenched his hands into fists in his lap. Through all his anger, Grimmjow could clearly see his sorrow shining in his gaze and the way his hands shook as the fisted in the white hospital blanket. "We got clean tagether."

"The results from the autopsy say otherwise." One of the officers said, his voice a controlled, neutral tone, no sympathy to be heard. "We think his murder was connected to his habit."

The pale man seemed to freeze, his anger draining and giving way to that sorrow Grimmjow had seen. It wracked his gauze wrapped frame, making him tremble as he blinked away tears and shook his head, his gaze dropping from the officers in his room to his hands. His voice was much quieter than it had been only moments ago and brittle around the edges as he spoke. "Yer-yer sayin' he was killed coz a drugs? Tha' he owed someone money?"

"It's a possibility." The officer told the young man. "We can't know for sure."

"Yer not ganna keep lookin' fer 'is killer, are ya?" The young man asked, his voice very nearly a whisper as he leaned forward and settled his head in his hands. He already knew the answer and he understood the reasoning, but it still angered him and it still hurt. He would find no closure and his lover's killer would go free.

"There was very little evidence left behind to continue the investigation." The officer all but confirmed what the young man had said. "Everything went up with the apartment."

"Get out." When no one in the man's room moved, unsure how to take his rapidly changing attitude, he rigidly turned about, throwing his feet to ground so that he sat on the edge of his bed. His features pinched in pain, his upper lip curling away from his teeth but rage and sorrow warred in his gaze and his voice was once more a distorted yell full of too much emotion for the poor man to control. "I said get the hell out!"

The officer that had remained silent tapped his partner on the arm, his eyes a bit softer than the other's. He told the pale man to give them a call if he had questions as the two left. The man's nurse edged back to his side, worry obvious in her kind features as she gently patted his knee and sat beside him on the bed.

"Shiro, honey, calm down..." She shushed her charge as she tried to get him to lay back down and take it easy.

The man called Shiro snarled at her as he pushed her back and away once more. He surged from his bed and unsteadily to his feet, the simple action constricting his chest with how badly his body burned, even with the soothing salve covering the worst of his wounds. He ignored it, uncaring that it hurt and uncaring if it wasn't good for his recovery. He hadn't been able to save his lover and no one knew how the fire had started and now all he wanted was to visit his grave and no one would even let him do that. So he would leave on his own.

The man's nurse as well as Grimmjow's scurried after him as he angrily rushed out into the hall, one hand braced against the wall to control his wavering gate. They tried to calm him and get him to return to his bed with gentle voices and soft words but he ignored them.

As he was passing by where Grimmjow had been standing, unsure if he should help the poor nurses or return to his own room, the bluenette made up his mind. He knew the look plastered the man's ashen features and he understood exactly what it meant; defeat and self loathing. Grimmjow reached out, snagging hold of the man in a firm grip that stopped him in his tracks and more than likely didn't feel too well against his flame ravaged skin.

"Ya better le' go a me." Shiro warned in a low, clipped tone, knowing it wasn't one of the nurses snagging hold of him. They had been too afraid of hurting him to touch him, at least not with the strength behind the grasping hand. Somehow the pain of that strength didn't seem so bad.

"No." Grimmjow rose a blue brow, his deep voice quiet but rumbling. He didn't know why he was making this his business, he didn't know why he cared, but he did. A thought struck him and only served to harden his resolve further; Ichigo would have been happy to hear he hadn't stood by while the man went and did something stupid.

The smaller man spun on Grimmjow, his features showing more anger than pain now. His fist came around at a surprising speed as a lilting growl filtered between clenched teeth. His less than stable emotional state made him unpredictable, but he was still recovering and he was quite a bit smaller than the blue haired man.

Grimmjow hardly flinched as he caught the man's fist in his palm, wrapping his long finger's over the man's hand and holding it motionless a few inches from his own face. Burning, golden eyes danced like the flames that had fed upon the man's flesh, swirling and enraged in the dark abyss they nestled in. Those eyes drilled into Grimmjow's own frigid blue orbs for a few moments before dropping slightly. He glanced to the big hand covering his own, then lower still as something darker marred the man's golden skin. His gaze froze on the under side of Grimmjow's corded forearm, taking in the jagged stitching that trailed from his wrist.

Grimmjow's fingers slowly loosened in their clenched grip, but the man didn't pull his fist away until his eyes rose back to the bluenette's face. As his arm slowly lowered back to his side, a strange sort of understanding passed between the two, not a word needing to be spoken. The pale man's anger was forgotten, replaced by something else entirely, something they both could sympathize with. They were in the same situation and they both understood, both knew what the other was going through.

The anger once again died from those fiery eyes, leaving the albino looking drained and tiered, his boyish features slack as he looked up at the taller man. His ashen brows were furrowed, his nostrils flared slightly as he panted with the simple exertion of storming through the hall but still he made no move to go back to his room. He simply stood and continued taking in the man with pale blue hair.

Grimmjow's eyes slowly widened as he studied the smaller man, took in the set to his jaw, straight nose and his high cheekbones. Even his expressive, passionate eyes. The slight irritation from the heat of the fire couldn't hide it. The pale young man looked so much like-

"Oh dear, are you boys alright?" The two nurses finally caught up, breaking the spell the two seemed to be frozen under.

"Yeah, we're fine." Grimmjow answered the woman as he slowly turned away from the pale man, his heart heavy but pounding almost too fast in his chest. Fine. By the time Grimmjow made it back to his own room, closing the door behind himself, he wasn't sure if fine was quite the right word but what made him hesitate the most was that it hadn't stung quite so much as the last time he had told that lie.

Dropping to sit on the edge of the hospital bed, Grimmjow let his head hang, tentatively running a big hand through his naturally messy hair. He closed his brilliant blue orbs, a deep, controlled breath hissing between his teeth almost soundlessly.

"You're ganna have to help me out here, Ichi..." The bluenette whispered to the empty room, lifting his closed eyes toward the ceiling and tilting his head back as he drew a deep breath, forcing himself to stay in one piece. "Is he why you wouldn't let me join you?"

He sat in silence for a long time, nothing but the sounds of the staff bustling through the halls to carry out their duties breaking the quiet. He didn't hear a thing from the pale man occupying the room across from his and he guessed the albino with the strange eyes had just as much on his mind as Grimmjow himself did.

Grimmjow didn't have the answers to any of his questions. He probably never would, but he knew there was something about the fire scared albino that drew his attention and he couldn't shake the feeling that Ichigo had wanted him where he was for a reason. That was enough for him. He would live as Ichigo had beg of him and he would do his best to honor his memory and his sacrifice. It would have to be enough.

The blue haired man was roused from his thoughts as the door leading to his room creaked open. He looked up, elbows resting on his knees and still seated on the edge of his bed. He frowned as he realized hours must have passed since he had returned to his room but the expression softened as Isshin stepped in and quietly neared him.

The older man seated himself beside Grimmjow without a word, a concerned expression on his features. The two sat in mostly comfortable silence for a moment before Isshin finally decided to break it. "You alright, Grimm?"

"Yeah, just thinking." Grimmjow admitted, knowing the older Kurosaki was talking about how he had found the bluenette, seemingly drawn in on himself.

"You better not be-"

"I'm not." The younger cut Isshin off before he could finish his thought. "I was thinking about...about Ichigo... and what was going to happen after I get out of here. Where I'm supposed to begin."

Isshin only nodded, letting his gaze drift away from the young man he considered a second son. He had wondered the very same on several occasions since Grimmjow had been brought to the hospital, but he was immensely relieved to hear the boy seemed willing to at least make an effort. He was a strong young man, he'd make it through this.

"I want to visit him." Grimmjow said quietly. Karin had been right the other day. He hadn't visited Ichigo yet. He hadn't been able to before his stay at the hospital, hadn't been strong enough to face his lover then. Now he felt he was but he couldn't.

"As soon as your doctor releases you we'll go together." Isshin promised.

Grimmjow let a deep, nearly silent sigh pass his lips as he continued to stare toward his door, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Ichigo's father. "Why aren't you my doctor?"

"Conflict of interest. I wouldn't be able to remain unbiased, so I'm not allowed to be your doctor." Isshin chuckled, a bit of his usually goofy demeanor showing through. "But I am your new friend's doctor."

Grimmjow arched a brow and turned a curious look upon the older man, not entirely sure what he was talking about but able to guess well enough.

"Shirosaki was asking about you. Well, 'the blue haired ass hole' actually, but how many of those do you know?" Isshin chuckled again and shook his head. "It's the first time he's really said anything to me, aside from when he had been in ICU and too drugged up to know what he was saying."

The younger man grunted an amused sound, a slight quirk to his lips. His own curiosity was working on burning a hole in his tongue, but he could feel Isshin's eyes on him. The older man had a knowing look on his face, like he knew Grimmjow wanted to ask about the albino in return, like he could see even further than Grimmjow had dared to look just yet.

"Not that I condone sneaking around the hospital after hours or anything..." Isshin began, once more looking ahead to give Grimmjow that little bit of extra privacy. His voice was carefully controlled, but he couldn't hide the slight waver from his once future son-in-law. "But perhaps you should go ask him yourself. You two might be good for each other."

Grimmjow could hear the slight undercurrent of pain that accompanied the man's words, but he could also hear the caring and hope in his voice. As much as it killed Isshin to think about moving on, to tell Grimmjow that that's what he should do, the older man knew it needed to happen. He had no doubt that Grimmjow would forever be in love with his son and would refuse to let go of that love, but the boy deserved another chance at happiness. Ichigo would want him to be happy, he had been too kind to allow the man he had loved to live unhappily.

Grimmjow fell silent, unable to find the words to respond. Maybe there simply wasn't a way to respond. It wouldn't happen that same night, but another meeting between the two was inevitable. Not more than a couple days later, or nights rather, Grimmjow lay upon his assigned bed, his arms crossed behind his head while he let his mind wonder where it would on a sleepless night. He'd had a lot of those lately; sleepless nights. His mind wouldn't shut down and his body wouldn't settle into a comfortable state, like something was missing now. But he guessed that was to be expected. He'd had Ichigo at his side almost every night for nearly two years.

The thought was a painfully one but the memories that it brought were beautiful and Grimmjow refused to let the pain of it all make him forget. He'd suffer through the hurt if it meant keeping the good.

Laying upon his bed and listening to the quiet of the sleeping hospital, he began to let his mind drift to other things when a quiet sound caught his attention. The door to his room had been left open a crack, the bluenette's way of making the small space seem a bit more opened since he wasn't used to sleeping behind a closed door. A very quite whimper reached his ears and he knew it to be coming from across the hall.

As he listened, concentrating on the almost inaudible sounds from the albino's room, he wondered what the man Isshin had called Shirosaki could possibly be doing this late at night. His mind conjured up a rather lewd image but he sneered and pushed it away. The sounds were all wrong for that. There was more pain and fear in them then there was pleasure.

Deciding to take Isshin's advice and indulge his curiosity, Grimmjow frowned as he rolled off his bed and landed soundlessly on his feet. He padded to the door, happy that he wasn't feeling nearly so weak and drained as when he had first woken up in the hospital, and peeked into the hallway, finding it empty and deserted. Crossing the hall, he carefully and quietly pushed the door to the object of his curiosity open a few inches before he paused, listening intently for the pale man's voice or snarl, movement, anything. All he heard was a continuation of the small sounds he had heard from his room; barely there whimpers and an almost choking cough sound.

Brows still furrowed, Grimmjow pushed the door open just enough to slip in and quietly spoke, asking if the man was ok. He didn't receive an answer so he edged further into the darkened room. He found the pale man twisted in the blankets of his bed, ashen brows furrowed and a weak sneer on what should have been sleep slackened features. Another whimper crawled from his throat as he twitched and fidgeted with his nightmare.

Grimmjow shook his head, wondering why he was there. He turned to leave but as he did, a choking, sobbing sound fled the man's throat, the sound painful and desperate. The bluenette couldn't bring himself to leave and he closed his eyes for a moment as he mentally sighed, turning back toward the bed and the sleeping albino.

He slowly crossed the room, watching the man as he tossed and turned as much as his injuries would allow for. Not sure what to do, the bigger man hesitated before settling his hand lightly on the man's forearm, giving a gentle shake in the effort to wake him. The man didn't stir, instead jerking his arm away with a grunt like the touch had burned.

_In his nightmare, the albino crashed through the flame ringed door of his shared apartment, his arms crossed over his head as he shouted a name. Sirens shattered the predawn air but they were too far away and would arrive too late. He searched the burning apartment, coughing and gagging as he breathed in more smoke than oxygen but still he shouted a single name. No one replied, though he knew the man was home, so he pushed on, delving deeper into the inferno that raged in his home. Hot flames licked hungrily at his flesh and burning wood crumbled around him, the air too thick with black smoke for him to see and the weakened floor boards shuttering under his weight, but he couldn't give up. He had to save him this time..._

"...dammit..." Grimmjow mumbled, carefully seating himself at the edge of the bed to be a bit closer. He tried again, careful where he touched and trying to avoid the gauze that no doubt hid still painful burns. "Hey...it's just a dream...Shirosaki."

_The fire's roar was deafening and he could hardly hear his own, distorted voice as he called out to his companion. He'd searched almost every room, there was only the bedroom now. He had to be there. Gold on black eyes stinging, tears of pain, fear and caused by the choking smoke streaked his ashen features, leaving dark, soot like trails against his pale skin. Plaster from the ceiling crashed to the floor to his right, sending a shower of embers and a blast of heat into the dead air. Crossbeams followed, making the hollowed out floor shutter and groan under the extra weight. Inverted eyes widened as the floor bowed and seemed to ripple beneath him. The gust of lifeless, over heated air pushed at the wall of flame before him, breaking it just long enough for him to glimpse a figure struggling to raise from the floor, bloodied and disheveled._

The name felt strange on his tongue, foreign, but the man's colorless brows rose slightly as he said it, so Grimmjow tried again, gently grabbing the man's shoulder as he gave another light shake. This time he spoke a bit louder, shortening the man's name to what he had heard the nurse call him. It seemed to fit better. "You're dreaming...It's not real, Shiro..."

_The albino covered his face with his already flame ravaged arms and leapt through the flames toward the man he had been searching for. The floor buckled with his weight and he stumbled, his eyes locking with Renji's. He hit the floor of the apartment below his, embers and flame riddled wood raining down around him as black smoke poured through the gaping hole, a deep, desperate voice ringing hollow in his skull before it was drowned out by sirens and blackness._

" _No, don't! Get back, Shiro!"_

Shiro jerked awake with a startled intake of air at the deep, rumbling voice. Trembling from the replay of what had landed him in the hospital, the event that taken his lover away, he fought through the clinging emotions and memories that ran rampant in his sleep sluggish mind. In the darkened room, all he saw was the large shadow of a man. He was the right height, even the right build and Shiro's eyes widened as tears blurred his vision. How could this even be possible, was he still dreaming? He didn't know and he didn't care. He fell forward, a single name tumbling from his lips and making it through his choked tears.

"R-Ren..."

Grimmjow froze as the man buried his face against his shoulder, blue eyes wide with his surprised shock. He didn't know how to react to the albino mistaking his identity, but the smaller quivered against him, hot tears quickly soaking through the thin material of his hospital issued shirt as lithe shoulders shuddered with the man's silent crying.

Gingerly, almost as if afraid to touch him, Grimmjow settled a hand across the man's back in a comforting gesture. He rubbed slow circles as he squeezed his eyes shut and let his other hand carefully come up to rest upon the back of pale hair, holding the man close and wrapping him in his strong embrace. The smaller man's warmth was almost familiar, almost comforting in a strange way. He was very nearly Ichigo's size and Grimmjow mentally chastised himself for comparing the two yet again.

Grimmjow steeled himself, never pausing in his comforting motions as he spoke in a quiet rumble, almost reluctant to pull the man back to an obviously painful reality. "I'm sorry, Shiro...but I'm not Ren..."

Shiro froze, his entire body going rigid at the deep voice. He held his breath, desperate to stem the flow of tears that streaked down his pale features and almost afraid to move. The big man holding him close didn't pull away or push him back and Shiro almost wanted to start crying anew. He wanted to loose himself in the other's comfort and go back to pretending, if only for a few more seconds.

Instead, he oh so slowly straightened, gingerly pulling out of the man's hold as his eyes finally adjusted to the dark room and he was able to make out the bigger man's features. The man with light blue hair from across the hall looked back down at him, his liquid gaze heavy with knowing sorrow and apology. Shiro couldn't hold his gaze as he crossed his hands in his lap and lowered his eyes to match.

"I shoulda known..." He whispered in a hoarse, distorted tone. "Ren's gone."

Grimmjow wanted to apologize, but he didn't. He wouldn't. Apologies didn't bring the dead back, nor make the pain of lose go away. Sorry wouldn't make the albino feel any better.

"Wha' ya doin' here?" Shiro asked, hiding a wince as he adjusted his position on the bed and allowed himself to lean back against the pillows a bit.

The wince didn't go unnoticed and Grimmjow automatically stood, helping the man untangle himself from his blankets to find a more comfortable position as he spoke. "You were having a nightmare..."

The moment Grimmjow realized what he was doing and the situation caught up to him, he stopped and stepped back, giving the man a bit of space. But he didn't leave, not just yet.

"Yeah." The pale man didn't bother denying it. There was no point in lying and he was beyond being able to be embarrassed. His emotions were too raw, too drained for embarrassment. "Got a lot a those lately."

Grimmjow simply nodded and slowly lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed, the need to give the pale man some space suddenly absent as it seemed the albino was willing to open up, if only a little. Now seemed as good a time as any to indulge his curiosity and he found he was surprisingly comfortable in the young man's presence. They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither looking at the other nor knowing what, if anything, to say.

"The nurses think they're tricky, but I ain't stupid. I know wha' ward a the hospital we're in. They're worried fer nothin', I'm too much a coward fer tha', but obviously you ain't." Shiro took a deep breath, his chest expanding below his hospital clothing. He pointed toward where Grimmjow's hands sat in his lap and the bluenette rotated his hands so they were palm up, looking down at the stitching in his flesh. "Ya don' seem very suicidal ta me. Wha' made ya change yer mind?"

"Blunt." Grimmjow mumbled, blue brows furrowing as his eyes stayed trained in his lap.

"I get told tha' a lot."

"Being blunt isn't a bad thing." Grimmjow grunted an amused sound and looked back up. "My fiance saved me and convinced me not to try again."

"Oh." Shiro's ashen brows rose in slight surprise. "Congrats."

Blue brows furrowed slightly but a small smile crept across his features. "Thanks, but we're not getting married anymore."

"Why not? Seems like she still loves ya, if she's tryin' a save ya."

"He..." Grimmjow corrected, a lopsided grin on his handsome features at the surprised look on the albino's features, but the expression faltered as he continued. "and he was shot. He didn't make it."

"...Oh...tha's why yer 'ere..." Grimmjow only nodded. "I...I didn' mean ta..."

The bluenette shook his head and looked back up at the albino again. "Don't. You didn't know and I'm not ashamed of my attempt or my failure."

"Tha's good." Shiro's strange eyes darted away from the captivating blue ones before him briefly before returning the gaze again. "Ya seem like a good 'nough guy. Too few a those in the world ta be loosin' any."

Grimmjow snorted a derisive laugh and finally asked the question he had wondered about since he had first seen the strange albino, deciding to be as straightforward as the young man in his company. "Must have been a pretty bad fire..."

"Yeah...took down half a the complex by time it was put out. Er so I hear." Shiro got quiet for a moment before he picked up again. "When I got there, everyone was jus' standin' outside watchin'. No one even knew he was still inside..."

"You're talking about... Ren?" Grimmjow hesitated to ask, to say the name Shiro had cried out while he had awoken. Shiro nodded and continued in a quiet voice. By the time he had finished his story, Grimmjow was stunned the albino had survived. He also thought the young man incredibly brave and strong to be able to run through a burning building the way he had. It was a miracle that the firefighters had found him before the rest of the building had collapsed.

"I don' really member much after tha', jus' flashes a bein' in the ICU." His ashen features twisted into a grimace as he lightly rubbed at his chest. "The buttons on my shirt had melted. I member that...when the EMT pulled 'em away..."

Grimmjow made a face of his own, his eyes wide even as his brows furrowed from imagining the melted plastic being pulled from the albino's flame ravaged flesh. He couldn't bring himself to imagine the scream that must have torn the man's lilting voice raw.

"The fall saved my life. It's weird. Wit the way Ren was tryin' ta tell me ta stay back, i's like he made the floor give out ta get me away..." Shiro shrugged. "I know tha' sounds stupid..."

"No it doesn't." Grimmjow shot back, his voice a bit sharper than he had meant it to be. He continued, his voice softer. "It's not stupid. I'm not much of a believer, but I think it must have happened for a reason."

The two continued to talk for most of the night and the halls around them were beginning to come to life with bustling nurses and a few patients by the time Grimmjow stood from the edge of the bed. He stretched his muscled arms above his head and yawned before turning to bid the equally tired looking albino a temporary farewell.

As the bluenette was crossing the small room, Shiro's lilting voice tugged his attention. "Oh, my name's Shiro, bu' ya already got tha' figured out... tha' goofy doc wouldn' tell me anythin' abou' ya..."

Grimmjow smirked over his shoulder as he twisted the door knob. "Nice to meet you, Shiro. I'm Grimmjow."

Not long after Grimmjow returned to his own room, their respective nurses would find both recovering men sound asleep in deep, peaceful rest. When next they awoke, the world would look just a bit brighter for the two men.


	2. Chapter 2

Time seemed to flow much too fast and much too slow all at once. In the next few days, Grimmjow and his new acquaintance, the albino named Shirosaki, spoke nearly constantly. Even when words weren’t exchanged, the two kept each other company. Isshin saw what was happening. He recognized the good Shiro was doing for Grimmjow and vise versa. The albino opened up a bit more, some of his manic temper and anger cooling off just a bit. His mind seemed more stable, his mood less volatile and unpredictable. Grimmjow, the young man he had and always would see as his second son, also began picking himself back up. The pieces were small and the journey would be long, but the blue haired man seemed more and more willing to try. The two were helping each other in their own ways. They didn’t see it, probably didn’t even care, but Isshin could see it and it brought hope to his heart and lifted just a touch of his sorrow; Grimmjow and Shirosaki were slowly beginning to mend. The wounds were raw, tender, the scars easily torn open and quick to bleed, but they were beginning to heal.  
  
So the elder Kurosaki spoke to the bluenette’s doctor and in turn, the nurses were told as well. A few rules were bent but they were mostly harmless and even though it went against hospital policies, the two were allowed to wonder between their respective rooms so long as they didn’t disturb anyone. After the first couple times, Grimmjow no longer had to sneak into the room across from his, but rather was allowed to visit the man he had met as he wished.  
  
The nurses happily accommodated them, preforming their routine checks in either room and both doctors, accustomed to taking care of less than stable patients in their line of duty, payed close attention to the way their psychological states slowly began leveling out. Everyone wanted the pair to grow, heal and learn to live with themselves in the aftermath of the tragedy they had faced.  
  
One evening, just after the nurses had made their rounds and administered medication to the patients still needing it, Grimmjow sat in one of two spare chairs that had been dragged into the room across the hall from his own. In the chair beside him, the albino he had befriended fell quiet as his medication began taking affect.   
  
Still recovering from his grievous wounds, Shirosaki was still administered painkillers on top of the antibiotics to help speed his healing and fight infection. Dr. Kurosaki seemed pleased with his recovery so far and most of the bandages had been removed, letting his wounds breath and also allowing the albino to get used to seeing them. The scars from where vicious flames had fed on his pale flesh would fade eventually, but they would never be invisible. He would have to learn to live with them.  
  
Nearly two weeks after his brush with death, Grimmjow no longer needed the medication he had been given originally and it was only a matter of time until he was able to leave. The stitching that tracked the underside of his wrists and forearms was scheduled to be removed with the next morning. From there, his doctor would determine if he was healthy and fit to leave the hospital.  
  
Grimmjow let a slight, barely there smirk tilt one corner of his lips as he looked over at the albino seated beside him. The pale man sat slumped in his chair, his elbow on the armrest and his head resting on his fist. The bluenette snorted a laugh. “Shiro.”  
  
“Eh?” The albino furrowed his brows before prying his strange eyes open and attempting to sit up straighter.  
  
“Go to bed.” Grimmjow told him, standing from his chair and stretching.  
  
The albino hid a stifled yawn behind his hand, resolutely keeping his eyes away from the angry, red tracks marring his otherwise colorless arms. “Nah. I’m good.”  
  
The bluenette snorted another laugh, raising a blue brow as he looked down at the smaller man. “I’m not carrying your ass to bed when those pills finish knocking you out.”  
  
“Tch. Some friend ya are.” The pale man mumbled as he carefully levered himself from his chair and crossed the small room to his bed.  
  
“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” Grimmjow waited until the smaller man had managed to climb into his hospital bed and get mostly comfortable before he crossed the room to the door. “Night, Shiro.”  
  
“G’night.” The albino mumbled back, out before his head even hit the pillow.  
  
Grimmjow quietly closed the door behind himself and glanced down the hall. Sitting in his room night after night was driving him insane so he hesitated where he stood in front of Shiro’s room, looking across to the door of his own. Tugging at his hospital issued shirt, he mentally shrugged and turned down the hall. The corridors were deserted and most of the rooms were quiet as night descended. His footsteps echoed quietly off the tile flooring, the sound lonely and dim.  
  
The bluenette found himself seated on the wide ledge of a window that overlooked the front of the hospital. The lawn was green, the landscaping beautiful but that wasn’t what held his attention. Out beyond the drive, across the street and in the distance; the lights from the city shone under the stars. He couldn’t actually see the house he and Ichigo had bought, nor even the small neighborhood it stood in, but he imagined he could.  
  
Stepping through the door would be difficult. Wondering down the hall to enter the bedroom would be even harder. He contemplated putting the house up for sale, moving back into an apartment that wouldn’t hold any memories. Maybe something smaller to help lessen the loneliness of an empty house, but he knew he wouldn’t do it. He’d have to buy new carpet for the bedroom, something plush and soft, warm when you got out of bed, just the way Ichigo had liked it. But he wouldn’t move out. He’d work on the house, try to make it a home again. Tensa would help.  
  
He never thought he’d miss that dog so badly.  
  
After staring out at the city for a few hours, Grimmjow finally shook his head and dropped his feet back to the floor, standing from the window ledge he’d been sitting on. Pushing a hand through his hair, he snorted as he realized he needed a hair cut. It hadn’t been cut since Ichigo’s accident months ago. Blue locks fell from their naturally chaotic stance to hang about his face, the longer strands at the back of his neck hanging around his shoulders.  
  
Pushing it back and out of his face, he slowly made his way back to his own room. The next morning, he would still be awake when his doctor came in to check his stitching.  
  
Seated on the edge of the hospital bed, he watched as the doctor cut the first stitch and used a pair of forceps to pull it from his flesh. It didn’t hurt, but it certainly felt strange and he cringed as the doctor took a close look before continuing. The door was opened and he glanced up to see Isshin edge quietly into the room, a duffle bag in hand and still wearing his lab coat.  
  
The older man said nothing as he watched, letting Grimmjow’s doctor do his work. While he was there in the bluenette’s company, he wasn’t a doctor, he was family. Isshin was Grimmjow’s only family, and Grimmjow his only son now.  
  
The doctor finally finished removing the stitches, giving his arms a last look over before happily announcing that Grimmjow had the clear to finally return home. Typically, patients with stitches were allowed to return home and schedule an appointment to have them removed, but Grimmjow’s case had been a bit special. Of course Isshin knew all the procedures, but the doctor ran through them anyway, as was legally obligated of him. He told Grimmjow to keep the freshly healed, still mending skin clean and to be careful not to rip them open again. He explained that the tendons and ligaments in his arms had been damaged and that he should refrain from doing anything too strenuous while they finished healing as well. As the man stood from his inspection to leave, he moved passed the bluenette and Isshin, catching Dr. Kurosaki’s gaze and clasping his hand on the older man’s shoulder briefly before he left the room.  
  
Isshin was unbelievably thankful for that single look. Their was sympathy to be found for sure, but there was also a reassurance, support and strength there. His colleague, a man he had worked beside for years and trusted, held hope for Grimmjow’s recovery, and not just of his physical wounds.  
  
Moving to stand before the still seated bluenette, Isshin dropped the bag onto the bed and directed his attention to the impossibly blue eyes staring through him. Questions swirled in the young man’s gaze, uncertainty and a bit of trepidation too, but their was a burning determination behind crystal blue.  
  
Isshin nodded, letting a small smile tilt his lips. “My shift ends in a coupe of hours. We’ll go pick up Tensa and the girls and visit him then.”   
  
Isshin’s voice was soft in the quiet room. Grimmjow didn’t say anything, his blue brows furrowing slightly as his chest seemed to tighten. He took a deep, controlled breath and let it out in a silent sigh as he nodded his agreement. One other question swirled in his mind and his eyes drifted passed Isshin to the door for a moment, wondering if he’d ever see the albino he had befriended again.  
  
When he spoke, Isshin’s voice was a bit less tentative and sullen, something a little bit brighter shining in his tone. “Get changed,” He said, pushing the bag toward Grimmjow. “and go visit your friend before we go. I’ll come get you when I’m off.”  
  
With that, the older man turned and left the room, giving Grimmjow his privacy and going back to work. The blue haired young man sat still for a moment, listening to the quiet of the room and the muffled sounds of people walking through the hall beyond. He shook himself from his head and stood from the bed, pulling the zipper of the duffle bag open. He pulled a pair of loose blue jeans, a navy blue shirt with a white number six on the back, his last name printed above it and a pair of his sneakers from it’s depths.  
  
Quickly stripping from the hospital clothing, he slipped into the street cloths Isshin had brought him. It felt wonderful to change into something less sterile. He left the hospital cloths folded on the bed and ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to the door. He hesitated, not really sure why, before he crossed the hallway.  
  
His knock went unanswered, but he wasn’t terribly surprised. It was still early and the albino usually slept like a rock after the nurse gave him whatever it was they had him on. So instead, he quietly opened the door and let himself in.  
  
Shiro lay twisted in his sheets, his shaggy hair sticking out at every conceivable angle. His pale features were slack with sleep at the moment but the state of the bed sheets and what was visible of his shirt told Grimmjow he was still having nightmares, even with the drugs to knock him out. His one arm was thrown over his abdomen, not covered by the thin blanket. The angry burns stood out harshly, even more visible in the morning light streaming through his window. Grimmjow hadn’t seen them, but the albino had told him the healing burns trailed over his shoulders and down his one side. Those were the most painful and tender and it showed when he tried to get up or sit down.   
  
With a nearly soundless sigh, Grimmjow lowered himself into one of the chairs that had been dragged in days ago. Loosing himself in thought, he realized he sincerely hoped this wouldn’t be a permanent good bye. Sure, he liked his other friends, the ones he’d known all his life, the ones he and Ichigo had used to hang out with together, but he knew all he would find in them was pity and apologies. Especially after the stunt he had pulled. All they would see when they looked at him was the broken man trying to kill himself and all he would see in them was reflected pity and Ichigo. He didn’t want that.  
  
He wouldn’t survive that.  
  
Shiro was different. The albino was just as broken and struggling just as hard to pick himself back up. Their was none of that pity in Shiro and there was no useless apology. In a sense, they were on equal footing.  
  
Grimmjow watched as the albino began stirring. The pale man gingerly rolled over to face his direction, those odd and slightly alarming eyes cracking open to glare tiredly at the bluenette.   
  
“Not sure how I feel ‘bout ya watchin’ me sleep.” Shiro said through a yawn as he slowly sat up, his distorted tone rough from sleep.   
  
Grimmjow snorted a laugh and shrugged. He nearly got up to help his pale friend as the albino began carefully levering himself from the bed, but refrained. “Wasn’t really watching you, just thinking.”  
  
“Sure tha’s wha’ ya were doin’.” Shiro rolled his gold on black eyes and made his way to the chair next to Grimmjow’s. “‘s ok. I don’ blame ya. I’d stare at me too if I were you.” He sighed in relief and yawned again as he sat down. “Ya look real different in street cloths. Ya play basketball?”  
  
Grimmjow looked down at his shirt. “Yeah, used to play on a men’s winter team.”  
  
“Any good at it?” Shiro smirked.  
  
“Can’t shoot a basket to save my life.”  
  
The albino cracked up, his lilting voice amused. “Then why’d they let ya be on the team?”  
  
An almost wicked grin stretched across Grimmjow’s features, reminiscent of the type he used to be known for. The expression suit him well. “I’m good at fouling and stealing the ball.”  
  
His answer pulled more cackling laughter from the smaller man. It was a contagious sound, potentially a little creepy, but sincere and happy nonetheless. He liked how blunt and brash the pale man was. He wasn’t afraid to laugh, he didn’t try to hide his personality or his differences and he didn’t really care if he fit in with the norm. His odd laughter, even in their situation...especially in their situation, was refreshing.  
  
“The doctor discharged me.” The bluenette said as the albino’s laughter quieted down. The room was silent for a few heartbeats as his statement settled in.  
  
“I figured. Tha’s good news, ain’t it? Ya should sound more happy ‘bout it.” Shiro said, though his expression made his understanding of Grimmjow’s underlying meaning clear. Still, his words had been sincere.  
  
“I am happy to get out of here, but a little nervous too.” The bigger man admitted, letting his gaze drift about the room. He didn’t feel the need to hide his weaknesses around the albino, didn’t feel like he had to be tough twenty-four/seven.   
  
“Nah, you’ll be a’right.” Shiro leaned back in his chair, sounding sure of himself. “King’ll keep ya from doin’ anythin’ stupid ‘gain.”  
  
“King?” Confused, Grimmjow looked over at the man, raising a brow in question.  
  
The albino shrugged, blunt and unfazed as always. “Yeah...Ya don’ deserve nothin’ less, so he musta been pretty great. Like a king.”  
  
“Yeah, he was.” A soft smile creased Grimmjow’s lips, actually managing to meet his vivid eyes.   
  
He’d told Shiro about his own experience after Shiro had told him how he’d ended up in the hospital. The albino had sat quietly and let him talk, listening intently, smirking when Grimmjow laughed and getting quiet when Grimmjow had gone sullen and told him about Ichigo’s death.   
  
“So... tha’ mean we gotta say good bye an’ shit?” The albino muttered, feeling sappy and ridiculous even though he had to know.  
  
“Doesn’t have to mean that.” Grimmjow told him, glancing over at the albino. It was surprising how easily they had befriended each other. No, Grimmjow thought to himself, he and the albino would keep in touch.   
  
He stood from his seat and crossed the room to Shiro’s bedside table. A phone sat atop it, next to a phonebook. A bible was thrown carelessly in the draw, a pad of paper and pencil on top of it. Grabbing the small, pocket sized notebook and a pencil, Grimmjow went back to his seat.  
  
“I can visit you a few times.” He said as he opened the note book. The first page was blank and he scribbled two phone numbers on it, one of them the number to his house phone, the other Isshin’s cell. He’d have to get a new cellphone of his own when he had the chance, but he didn’t exactly know where he’d be staying just yet, so he gave both numbers. “And you can call if you want, if you want to talk or something.”  
  
Shiro glanced down at the paper he was handed before folding it up and tucking it away. He nodded and the two slipped into a comfortable silence. Not too long later, Grimmjow was walking at Isshin’s side as they traversed the large hospital, leaving the odd man behind. But it wasn’t a permanent separation of ways and there had been no sadness in Shirosaki’s golden irises when he’d said good bye in that strange, lilting voice.   
  
The blue haired man was quiet as he climbed into the elder’s car, the prospect of returning to a normal life a tough thing to swallow after all that had happened. Isshin left the young man to his thoughts as they crossed the city, leaving the drive in silence but it wasn’t a tense quiet, only thoughtful. Grimmjow looked up as they pulled into the driveway of Ichigo’s childhood home and Isshin put the car in park, shutting the engine off but he didn’t open the door and climb out just yet. He waited for Grimmjow, let the struggling young man set the pace at which they did things.  
  
To his pleasant surprise, it only took Grimmjow a few seconds to work up the nerve to get out of the car and troop up to the door. The instant his feet hit the first step of the porch, loud, aggressive and very protective barking sounded from inside the house. Blue eyes widened in surprise. Ten sounded even bigger than he had before, but then, it had been quite a while since the night he had called Isshin and asked him to take the dog.  
  
Isshin chuckled and moved in front to unlock the door. “He gets protective of the girls when they’re home alone.” Then he rose his voice a bit louder to address the dog. “Tensa, it’s only me. I brought someone for you.”  
  
Grimmjow snorted a small laugh at the older man and the look that was sent his way. The barking stopped and Isshin opened the door, stepping in first. He bent slightly to grab the dogs collar and pull him away from the door to allow Grimmjow to enter. As the bluenette stepped through the threshold, the once aggressive barking turned into over excited whining as Tensa struggled in Isshin’s hold, his tail thumping against the older man’s legs so hard the dog’s whole body wiggled. Tensa’s pale blue eyes found and refused to leave his master. His paws slid across the tile in his scrambling effort to get away from Isshin and to Grimmjow, his tongue lolling in what could only ever be seen as a wide smile.  
  
Grimmjow laughed. A real laugh, accompanied by a smile of his own. “Come here, Ten.” He said quietly.  
  
Isshin released the animal and straightened. Tensa all but launched himself at his blue haired owner. He jumped up in his excitement and Grimmjow caught his upper half before being pushed backward and to the ground under the big dog’s unexpected weight and strength.  
  
Karin and Yuzu came running after hearing the commotion. They stood at their father’s side and laughed, happy to see Grimmjow out of the hospital and amused by him and his dog. Isshin chuckled a laugh of his own, shaking his head slightly. Grimmjow patted the dog’s side, his other arm wrapped around the big creature while Tensa covered his face in affectionate and slobbery dog kisses.  
  
“Yuck. Ok, Ten, enough tongue already.” Grimmjow said between licks as he pushed the dog up enough so he could begin climbing back to his feet. He wiped at his face, grimacing through his smile as he looked down at his dog. Tensa looked back up at him, seating himself on Grimmjow’s feet and leaning happily against his legs. Tangling his fingers in the dog’s thick fur, Grimmjow looked back up at Isshin and the twins. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke. “It’s good to be back.”  
  
Isshin stepped forward, pulling the younger man into a fatherly hug. “It’s good to have you back.” He said quietly.  
  
When he pulled back, Grimmjow followed Isshin through the kitchen, Tensa glued to his side. The house was clean, warm and inviting, as it always was, but it still felt different. Everything did and always would. Dishes from that morning’s meal were still sitting in the sink, a newspaper laying on the table. It was the little things that held Grimmjow’s attention as he crossed the room.   
  
Isshin pulled the dog’s leash from a hook on the wall and handed it over. “I’ve been trying to teach him to walk without a leash, but I don’t get the chance to take him for many walks...”  
  
Grimmjow nodded and attached the chain to Tensa’s collar. “That’s ok, it’ll give me something to do.”  
  
“You plan to take him back home with you, then?” Isshin seemed happy about the prospect, not because he didn’t like having Ten around, but because he knew it would go a long way in helping Grimmjow.  
  
“Yeah, I think so.” The bluenette led Tensa out the door.   
  
Once to the cemetery, Isshin showed the younger man the way to his son’s grave. They walked in silence, even Tensa seemed to feel the barely concealed sorrow that swirled in the motionless air. Karin and Yuzu said nothing as Isshin took their hands and paused, allowing Grimmjow to go ahead of them. They stood on the well manicured pathway and watched as the bluenette stood before the grave of the man that he had planned to marry one day.  
  
They watched the bluenette’s head lower before his broad shoulders sagged and began shaking with his grief. Beside him, Tensa lowered himself to lay before Ichigo’s headstone, his big head settled on his crossed paws. After a few moments, Grimmjow’s hand rose and slowly wiped at his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he lowered himself to sit cross-legged beside the big dog. Ten lifted his head from his paws to settle it in Grimmjow’s lap. Gently stroking the soft fur between the dog’s eyes, the young man began talking. Neither the girls nor Isshin could hear what he said but it didn’t matter and they would give him the time he needed with Ichigo.  
  
Grimmjow sat there for nearly an hour, lost in thought after he had fallen quiet. He eventually pulled himself from the ground, Tensa rising with him. He turned from the grave, his eyes trained on the path as he walked passed Isshin and the girls. Ten’s pale gaze kept drifting up toward him in what seemed like concern and Grimmjow let a big hand settled on the dog’s neck as he left the cemetery and waited near the car.  
  
Not long after that, Isshin dropped the girls off at home and they quickly rounded up all of Tensa’s toys that they could find. Stuffing them in a bag, Isshin bid his daughters to stay inside and leave the door locked as he left. He drove Grimmjow back to the house he had shared with Ichigo, Tensa chewing on a bone in the backseat.  
  
He parked the car in the drive and the two looked at the empty home and the unkept lawn. The grass was in dire need of being cut and a few newspapers wrapped in plastic lay in front of the door. It didn’t look like anyone had touched the place since he had been rushed to the ER.  
  
“This place is a mess...” Grimmjow chuckled quietly as he surveyed the outside of his house. The sound was dry and humorless. “Guess I have a lot of work ahead of me.”  
  
Isshin let out a chuckle of his own before they slid back into silence. After a moment, Grimmjow opened the door, letting Tensa out and into the yard to nose around in the tall grass, carrying his bone with him.  
  
“Grimmjow.” Isshin said before the door could be closed again. The younger man turned watery blue eyes toward him. “If you need anything at all, please call me. You’re still family to me and the girls, you’re not in this alone...”  
  
Grimmjow’s jaw clenched and he nodded before he closed the car door, more than grateful for what Isshin had told him. He crossed the driveway and walked up to his front door, pulling out his keys as he did. He called Ten’s name as he opened the door and he and the dog disappeared inside the dark house.  
  
Isshin heaved a heavy, worn out sigh and put the car in reverse. By the time he made it home to his daughters he felt ten years older. He was met at the door by Karin and Yuzu. They wrapped their arms around his waist and he hugged them close.  
  
“Daddy?” Yuzu looked up at him, her voice quiet and far more knowing than a girl her age should sound. “Is Grimmy-nii going to be ok this time?”  
  
“I hope so, sweetheart.” Isshin told her, his voice nearly a whisper. “I hope so.”  
  
Back at his house, Grimmjow tentatively took in the dark rooms and the layer of dust coating everything. He had been away for two weeks, but he had neglected cleaning the place up for much longer. The air smelled musty and thick. Dishes that hadn’t been washed in weeks, probably longer, sat in the sink, adding an almost gaging aroma on top of the aged dust. Setting the bag of dog toys down, he realized with a grimace that the bedroom door at the end of the hall had been pulled closed. A white sheet of paper was taped to the dark wood of the door and Grimmjow frowned as he slowly, wearily made his way down the hall.  
  
Reading the note, he couldn’t help but let a small smile tilt his lips. It was Isshin’s barely legible, doctor’s scrawl. He opened the door to find that what he had been told in the note, dated for a few days after he had awakened in the hospital, was indeed true. Isshin had spared him the horror of having to face what he had left behind. The carpet had been cleaned, the broken glass and ripped papers disposed of. The only thing that had survived his fit of rage that night had been his favorite picture of himself, Ichigo and Tensa. The picture now sat on the dresser’s otherwise bare top, exactly where Ichigo had put it before he’d been taken from Grimmjow.  
  
Grimmjow took a deep, steadying breath and crossed the room. He pushed the billowy, sheer curtains aside and threw the window wide open. Then he left the room again, leaving the door open, and proceeded to open every last window in the house to let some fresh air in and help with the smell. He was tired and worn out from his visit to the cemetery, both mentally and physically, but he didn’t particularly want to face his empty house at the moment. So instead he stooped to grab a ball from Tensa’s stockpile and went to the front door.  
  
“Well, Ten, I guess we better get started.” He said quietly as the dog curiously followed him. Grimmjow opened up the door and threw the ball out into the yard, watching as Tensa happily chased after it before bending to pick up the newspapers. He threw them onto the kitchen table and left the house.  
  
The sun was still high overhead, hot and unrelenting. It would have been a beautiful day under different circumstances. He stripped out of his shirt and laid it across the railing of his small porch before walking around the back of the house to a small shed. He pulled the push-mower out and started it up, letting his mind wander as he got to work and kept an eye on Tensa.  
  
Ichigo had always sat on the porch and watched him while he did yard work, since he was usually shirtless, his muscled abdomen and back glistening with a fine sheen of sweat. It had amused him for the longest time, still did, really. And after an hour or however long he decided to drag out Ichi’s torment, he would usually be just as ready to go as Ichigo, but the smaller man had always insisted that he smelled and needed a shower. Of course, that had always led to Ichigo being pulled in with him.  
  
Grimmjow paused in his work, realizing he had already managed to get half of it done. He scrubbed a hand down his face as his mind was assaulted with beautiful images of Ichigo pinned to the shower wall, his unruly orange hair wet and hanging in his face, his features twisted in pleasure while he somehow managed to smile up at Grimmjow all the same, his eyes dark and hooded. Long, lean legs wrapped around his waist as Ichigo breathed his name, his nails anchoring into Grimmjow’s back as hot water streamed around them. He could smell the soft scent of their shampoo and the hot steam that filled the room as he moaned into the side of Ichigo’s bared, slick neck.  
  
The obnoxious squeak of a ball jerked him from his thoughts and his memories. Looking down, Grimmjow gave Ten a small, appreciative smile as the dog chewed his ball and made it squeak again. Bending, he pulled the toy from the dog’s mouth and sent it across the yard once more. It landed in part that he’d already mowed, Tensa chasing after it.  
  
“Good timing, Ten.” He mumbled as he turned back toward the lawnmower to continue.  
  
Later that night, after doing everything he could possibly think of outside while he avoided entering his empty house, Grimmjow finally faced the quiet. He and Ten stepped inside, the dog almost automatically going to where his bowls were kept before he had been left with Isshin. Grimmjow smirked and pulled the empty, dusty bowls off the floor. He quickly washed them out and filled them, one with fresh water and the other with dog food, before setting them back down. Tensa eagerly dug in, but Grimmjow couldn’t find his own appetite.  
  
Instead, he took his time wondering down the hall toward the bathroom. He left the door open, having no need for privacy, and crossed the room to turn the water on. As the room filled with steam, he slowly slipped from his jeans and climbed into the shower. The hot water was relaxing, streaming through his longer than normal hair and down his body. He stood under the spray for a few moments, then finally slid to the bottom of the basin, letting his head fall in to his hands as he pulled his knees to his chest.  
  
Learning to live without him would be difficult. Getting used to his empty house would be tough. Everything reminded the blue haired man of his dead lover and he had left behind the only person that had managed to sooth some of the ache.  
  
He sat in the bottom of the tub, head in his hands and hot water raining down around him until Tensa found him. The dog whined and began nosing around the edge of the shower curtain. Grimmjow looked up, a small, fragile smile tugging at his lips. The dog still reminded him of Ichigo and always would, but it was different. Now it was in a good way and Tensa made Grimmjow remember what Ichigo had said to him, why he had decided he would push on and the promise he had made to his deceased love.  
  
Flicking water at the big dog, Grimmjow climbed to his feet and shut the faucet off. He quickly toweled off and threw on a pair of loose gym shorts, Tensa at his side. They wondered off to the sitting room and Grimmjow dropped down onto the couch. Laying on his stomach, a yawn crept up on him and he waited until Ten had settled on the floor in front of the couch before he rested his hand on the big dog’s head. More comfortable in the familiar surroundings of his house and exhausted from all that had happened in the past few weeks and the more recent work he had done that day, the man fell asleep before he realized it.  
  
He awoke with the rising sun the next morning as Tensa whined to be let out to do his business. Grimmjow groaned as he rolled over on the couch and onto his feet. Looking at the clock, he realized this was probably about the time Isshin was getting up and getting ready for work, and consequently the time the dog had gotten used to be let out.   
  
“Oh no, Ten... Don’t get used to this. It’s too early to be waking up.” He mumbled as he crossed the room and sluggishly opened up the door. Yawning, he slowly stepped into the crisp morning air and surveyed the houses across the street as Ten sniffed about.  
  
He would spend the rest of that day and the next cleaning up the interior of his house. With the windows left open most of the time, the mustiness dissipated. The dishes were the first to be tackled and he had to fight not to gag while organizing them so he could wash them. After those were cleaned and left to dry, he lifted the layer of dust that had settled over everything. The carpet was swept, the curtains taken down and washed, the tile of the kitchen and bathroom mopped, the windows, the toilet, everything he could think of. But after each day, he spent his nights on the couch, Tensa curled on the floor in front of it.  
  
On the third day of staying in the home he had shared with Ichigo, he decided he needed to take a trip to the hospital to visit the friend he’d left behind. Tensa couldn’t come and, being so used to following his blue haired owner everywhere he went for the past few days, the dog stared out the window as Grimmjow backed his car out of the garage and down the driveway.  
  
When he got there, he didn’t need to ask what room and so he took the stairs and led himself to his destination, only being stopped once along the way. He found the man he was looking for seated in his room, absently staring out the window. He knocked on the doorframe to the albino’s room before stepping in. Shiro’s golden gaze drifted across the room to him, a smirk erupting across his ashen features but the expression was a bit strained.  
  
Grimmjow grimaced, knowing what was wrong. It was still good news though, even if Shiro seemed to be suffering for it a bit. “Isshin told me on my way up that he took you off the last of your pain killers.”  
  
Shiro snorted a chuckle and nodded, his movements a bit stiff. ‘Yeah, an’ let me tell ya; I can definitely feel it.”  
  
“He said if you were still in too much pain he’d give you something...” Grimmjow reminded quietly as he took a seat next to the albino.  
  
“Yeah, I know, but I ain’t ganna do tha’.” He pale man smirked again as he looked away, casting his gaze back toward his window. When Grimmjow only gave him a questioning look, he elaborated.   
  
“I guess I got an ‘addictive personality’, least tha’s what my councilor called it.” Shiro shrugged a bit before he continued to explain. “I get addicted ta stuff easy. I’s why I had ta go through rehab three times before I could stay clean fer more than a few weeks.”  
  
“Oh.” A bit surprised about the revelation, Grimmjow didn’t really know what to say. Of course he’d known the pale man had been on drugs before, he’d let that detail slip while screaming at the cops the day they had met and Grimmjow rarely forgot such details, but it still took him by surprise all the same. And then a small smile was tugging at his handsome features once more, happy that Shiro was making the effort to stay clean this time around, even if it meant avoiding things like prescription pain medication.  
  
“Who’s Isshin, by the way?” Shiro asked as he glanced at his blue haired friend. This Isshin fellow had been the person to tell the bigger man about his current health development. Not that he really cared much who had knowledge of what was going on, he was just curious and never one to hold back.  
  
“Oh, Isshin Kurosaki. Your doctor.” Grimmjow told him with a slight smirk, just as comfortable in the smaller man’s presence as he had been before he had been released from the hospital.  
  
Shiro blinked and let his head tilt to the side as he mauled over the bluenette’s words. “Yer on a first name basis wit’ my doc?”  
  
Grimmjow nodded, chuckling a bit at the albino but the mirth didn’t quite reach his startling blue eyes. “He’s... Uh, he’s Ichigo’s father...”  
  
The albino was quiet for a moment, studying his friend’s features. “I wasn’ really expectin’ tha’... I don’ know wha’ ta say...”  
  
“You don’t have to say anything.” Grimmjow told him. The room slipped into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. They seemed to do that a lot. It was like words weren’t really necessary for them and it was nice not having someone question whether everything was alright just because he had gone quiet. But Grimmjow had a question, so he asked it, knowing Shiro wouldn’t mind his straightforwardness. “Why don’t you ever talk about Renji?”  
  
Shiro gave a slight, one shouldered shrug, taking a deep breath. “I dunno. Hurts to, I guess... He-he wasn’ really a good person. I’m not either, but I’m tryin’, ya know. He, I thought he was, but when I sit here and think ‘bout it, I can see the things that I shoulda noticed before. He kinda had me blind ta a lot a things.”  
  
The albino paused, taking another deep breath while his ashen brows furrowed into an uncharacteristic scowl. “But he was still mine...an’ I dunno if it hurts more tha’ he had betrayed me the ways he did or...tha’ it got ‘im killed...I don’ really know wha’ ta think.”  
  
Grimmjow simply nodded. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to deal with that and so he didn’t try. He didn’t know how to offer comfort to the man he sat beside, but Shiro hadn’t been seeking comfort, so again, no words were needed.  
  
“So how ya been since ya got ta leave?” Shiro asked, changing the subject back to something a little less heavy. He didn’t particularly like thinking about what had happened and focusing on it made him feel violently ill. He lightly rubbed his fingertips across the exposed scaring of his arms, wincing at the tenderness as he directed his strange eyes at Grimmjow, taking in his features and his expressions. He already hated his scars, hated everything they stood for and everything they reminded him off.  
  
Grimmjow let a heavy sigh slip passed his lips. “Rough, but what can you expect?” He chuckled a bit. “It’s going to take some time getting used to. You know when you’re getting out of here?”  
  
“Doc’s saying probably another week until the rest a the bad burns are healed up enough ta leave.” The albino rolled his eyes, impatient to leave the hospital, but there was little he could do about it.  
  
“Since you can’t really go back to your apartment...what’re you planning to do?”  
  
“Oh, I called up a friend yesterday. We used ta hang out all the time so I’mma go stay wit’ him fer a while.” There was something in the albino’s lilting voice that shook a bit more than usual, something like uncertainty, but it was clear he tried to hide it, so Grimmjow didn’t point it out.  
  
The two slipped into a comfortable conversation, talking about anything and everything that happened to come to mind. Grimmjow actually managed a grin as Shiro reached over and gently tugged at some of the longer hair hanging around his shoulders, saying he needed a hair cut. The bluenette agreed, chuckling as Shiro ran his fingers through his own colorless hair, telling the bigger man that he had kept his hair long before it had been shorn off while he was in the ER.  
  
Eventually, after a few hours of sitting in the hospital beside the albino, Grimmjow took his leave. Just like it had been when he had been discharged, there was nothing heavy about their parting and both seemed to realize they would be staying in touch.  
  
Rather than going straight home, Grimmjow decided he’d run a few errands that had needed done since he’d gotten out. He finally bought a new phone and had his old number transfered. The first thing he did with it was text Isshin to let him know, he also asked that he give the number to Shiro should the man need anything. Being unable to see the older man, Grimmjow didn’t know a gentle smile had spread across Isshin’s face at the request.  
  
Afterwards, he went to the grocery store so that he could finally stock his fridge and cupboards. The task didn’t take long and he was grateful he hadn’t run into anyone who recognized him. When he got home, Ten was eagerly awaiting him, his excited whining reaching the man through the locked door.  
  
Grimmjow couldn’t help but smile as he pushed the door open. Tail wagging almost too fast, Tensa bent to grab a ball as he happily greeted his owner. Grabbing the ball from the dog, Grimmjow threw it out into the yard and left the door open as he disappeared inside to put the groceries away. Only moments later, Tensa returned with the ball. He dropped it at Grimmjow’s feet and the bluenette let his hand drop to run through the dog’s thick fur before he continued putting things away.  
  
The days came and went. They sped by but seemed to crawl forward all the same. Grimmjow did his best to keep himself busy, to keep his mind occupied. When he ran out of things to do at his home, he leashed Tensa and took the dog for a walk. Occasionally Ten even managed to urge Grimmjow into a short run but his weeks in the hospital and months of self loathing and heartbreak had worn him down and he’d have to work on getting back into shape before he could take the dog for a real run, the kind that Ichigo had taken him for. The bluenette avoided his neighbors and ignored the pitying looks they gave him when he caught a glimpse of them. A few of his friends made the effort to visit him, to get him out of the house but he wasn’t ready to face them, nor did he want to, and so he declined most of their invitations.  
  
His visited Shiro one more time before the pale man was released from the hospital. That visit went much the same as the previous and the two had enjoyed each other’s company before Grimmjow took his leave. A few more days came and went and soon Shiro’s hospital release date rolled around. Grimmjow had opted to pick him up, seeing that the albino didn’t have a car or a way to the house of the friend he would be staying with and Grimmjow didn’t mind spending a bit of time with him.  
  
It was just passed mid morning when he pulled into the parking lot of a decent looking apartment complex only about a twenty minute drive from his own house. Shiro sat in the passenger seat, looking a bit apprehensive about being there but he had told Grimmjow nothing was wrong when the bluenette had asked, so the bigger man didn’t push it. Perhaps the albino was only going through the same issues he had when he was first released, the issues he was still working on getting through. Picking up the pieces of a broken life wasn’t an easy task.  
  
A little stiffly, Shiro climbed from the car and turned around, bending to look back through the window. “Thanks fer the ride.”  
  
“It’s nothing.” Grimmjow told him, a small smirk on his lips as his blue eyes captured the albino’s strange gaze. “Call me sometime. Now that we’re both out of the hospital, we’ll have to hang out for real at some point.”  
  
A lilting laughter accompanied the pale man’s wide grin and a wink. “Well, I don’ normally take the initiative wit’ other men like tha’, but I guess fer you, I could make an exception.”  
  
Grimmjow quirked a brow, an easy smirk still resting on his handsome features. “You trying to hit on me now?”  
  
The albino shrugged. “Can’ help myself. Is it workin’?”  
  
Before Grimmjow could say anything, a foreign voice cut him off.  
  
“Don’t mind him, he’s always been a flirt.” A man walked around the back of Grimmjow’s car to clap his hand across Shiro’s back in a friendly manner, a good natured grin on his almost too thin features. He waved at Grimmjow while he let his other hand drop from Shiro’s back to sling around his waist.  
  
The albino winced and hissed a breath through clenched teeth at the extra pressure to his still sensitive injuries but didn’t try to shrug the man off. Grimmjow looked from Shiro, to the man beside him and back, assuming he must have been the friend Shiro was staying with. Something about the man didn’t sit quite right with Grimmjow and he didn’t like the way he was touching Shiro, but it wasn’t really any of his business so he ignored it.  
  
“Talk to ya later, Shiro.” The bigger man rumbled as the albino straightened.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll text ya er somethin’.” Shirosaki waved before he turned toward the apartment, his buddy guiding him by the arm around his waist.  
  
Grimmjow put the car in reverse and couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that took over his features when Shiro smacked the man’s arm away and turned to him with an uncharacteristic glare. He left the parking lot and drove back to his own house, leaving Shiro with the guy he’d be living with since his place had burned to the ground.  
  
Looking over his shoulder to see Grimmjow’s car pull out of sight, Shiro snapped his odd, infuriated gaze back to his buddy. They had been friends for almost as long as either could remember, but in recent months, Shiro had sort of distanced himself from most of the people he had used to associate with. “Ya lied ta me. Ya told me ya were clean.”  
  
“I didn’t lie. I was when you called.” The man said, an unworried smirk on his thin features. His dark hair hung limp in his face as he unlocked his door and held it open for the albino at his side.  
  
“That ain’t clean! Tha’s jus’ sober. Why’d ya lie ta me?” Shiro all but snarled. He wanted answers. He should have known it was too good to be true. He’d been trying so hard to stay away from his old life but he hadn’t had anywhere else to turn and as much as he liked the blue haired man he had recently befriended, he still didn’t think it would have been fair to ask Grimmjow for so much.  
  
“I don’t see what it matters.” The man plopped down on his couch, looking up at Shiro through his bangs. “Why are you so set on staying clean? Renji didn’t even understand it.”  
  
Shiro’s eyes widened and he grit his teeth, at a loss for what to say. When he couldn’t find words, the man on the couch continued, his better judgement clouded and his tongue loosened.  
  
“You’re pretty much all he talked about while he was here, trying to figure out why you wouldn’t get stoned with him anymore-”  
  
“Shut yer mouth.” Shiro’s voice was a low snarl, a warning that went unnoticed.  
  
“He said you were kind of boring to hang out with when you weren’t high, not as funny-” The man didn’t stop though. He was too hopped up on whatever he had taken before Shiro had arrived to think about what he was saying and to whom.   
  
“I’m warnin’ ya; shut it.”  
  
“Said you were better in bed after you got clean though. Maybe we should find out?” The man wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing manner before he continued, just a bit more serious. “It’s a shame he’s dead, he should have watched who he was dealing with.”  
  
If he was going to say anything else, it was cut off by a lilting snarl as Shiro threw himself at his friend. One pale hand snagged in the front of the man’s shirt while the other clenched in a fist and was cocked back, about to strike when the man raised his own hands in defense and started scrambling over his words.  
  
“Sorry, Shi! I wasn’t really thinking...I didn’t mean anything by it...”  
  
“Nah, ‘course ya didn’t.” Shiro grit out while he backed off and tried to cool his temper. “Were ya the one tha’ got ‘im doin’ drugs again?”  
  
“No, I don’t know who his supplier was. He just came here while he was high so that you didn’t have to see it. He was trying to respect your choice.”  
  
Shiro dropped onto the other side of the couch, suddenly drained once more, his brows furrowed at his friend’s words. “Dammit.” He mumbled, his head lowering to be cradled by his pale hands.  
  
It was barely noon when Grimmjow got home. Tensa’s happy, excited whining reached him through the door like usual. It was a nice thing to come home too, helped to ease the feeling of emptiness the house took on. A newspaper was rolled in plastic on his front porch and he bent to grab it as he walked up the few steps and to the door.  
  
“I wasn’t gone that long.” He told the dog after opening the door, reaching down to play with Tensa’s ears while he kicked it shut behind himself. The dog merely smiled up at him, his tail waggling happily.  
  
As he stood up, he pulled the plastic from the paper and crumpled it up. He tossed it into the trash and the paper onto the table as he walked to the other side of his kitchen to find something for lunch. Pulling leftovers out of the fridge, he fixed himself a plate and sat down at the table, Tensa obediently going to lay down in the doorway. Grimmjow was pleased that the dog was learning not to beg for food without him having to tell him constantly.  
  
The picture on the front page of the paper made a bitter smirk flit across his angular features as recognition dawned, but there was no joy or amusement in the expression. The headline told him they were beginning reconstruction of the apartment he had set fire to and the article announced that while several people had minor injuries, only a few had been seriously hurt and only one confirmed dead. Though he hadn’t actually meant to kill the guy, Grimmjow wasn’t remorseful. At the time, he hadn’t really cared if the man was killed by his hand, he had only needed an outlet and nothing had felt better than beating the hell out of the man and lighting up everything he had. Still, some part of him was happy only his dead lover’s killer had fallen victim. He had known the fire had been a pretty devastating one, but this was the first he’d actually seen of his handy work. The fire he’d started in a single room had spread and taken down over half the building, burning hot and wild, just like his rage had.  
  
Sitting on the table beside the paper, his phone buzzed with an incoming text, Shiro’s name showing on the screen. He had just picked up the device when his blue brows furrowed and it slipped from his fingers, a single thought echoing in his mind. The albino had told him about the fire that had landed him in the hospital, a fire that had killed his lover and destroyed half of the building he had lived in. Looking back down at the picture in the paper, dread filled Grimmjow’s heart.  
  
After several minutes of staring at the paper, his thoughts whiling nearly too fast for him to actually think about, he finally forced himself to take a deep breath. Perhaps it was only coincidence, perhaps he was reading too far into it. He picked up his phone and opened the message.  
  
The albino had only been thanking him again for the ride, but Grimmjow got the impression he was still unsure about staying with his friend and needed the distraction. He didn’t say anything about his suspicions to Shiro, how could he? But the feeling wouldn’t go away so easily and he had to be sure before he panicked. He didn’t know what he would do if it turned out that he was responsible for what had happened to the albino.  
  
So he called the only person he really had to turn to. He dialed Isshin’s number, hoping he’d be lucky enough to catch the older man on his lunch break so that he wouldn’t have to wait to talk to him. The phone rang a few times before Isshin’s voice answered.  
  
 _“Grimm? Everything ok?”_  
  
“Yeah, fine. I was just curious about something and thought maybe you would know.” Grimmjow did his best at keeping his deep voice even and unhurried, as natural as he could. It seemed to work, either that or Isshin knew how hard he was trying to act like it was nothing and so acted the same.  
  
 _“Sure, what is it, son?”_ Isshin asked, a bit of worry beginning to tremble in his gut. But with all that had happened, how could he not worry?  
  
“Uh, well, Shiro was telling me about his accident and I was just wondering if you had been informed of where the fire happened since you took care of him?”  
  
There was a pause over the phone before Isshin was talking. _“I’m not allowed to tell you that, Grimm, it’s confidential...”_  
  
“Oh, right...” Grimmjow scrubbed his hand down his face, glancing down at the picture in the paper.  
  
 _“Why are you asking about that, Grimmjow?”_   
  
“Just saw this morning’s paper and wondered if...that was the fire he survived...” Grimmjow paused, still looking down. He shook his head at the very thought of what Shiro had gone through, and all because of him if that really was the place he’d been living at.  
  
  _“Well, I haven’t seen the paper yet today, but I can tell you that there has only been one major fire recently.”_ Isshin told the younger man.  
  
Grimmjow froze up, his eyes wide. He hardly registered thanking Isshin and hanging up the phone. It really was the same fire...and that meant that, not only had Grimmjow started the fire that had landed the albino in the hospital, but he had also killed Shiro’s lover. But the man that Grimmjow had beaten and left for dead had been the man to kill Ichigo. Grimmjow couldn’t bring himself to believe that Shiro would have been involved in that.  
  
Overwhelmed and unsure what to do, Grimmjow stood from his seat at the table. He rolled the paper up and threw it into the other room, a sneer crossing his features. Being light weight, it didn’t really go as far or hit the ground as hard as he would have liked, but it was satisfying enough to see Tensa begin shredding it with the joy Grimmjow wished he could summon up. His thoughts whirled in his skull, ringing through his head. He couldn’t wrap his mind around all that his revelation implied and truthfully, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Pacing the kitchen, lost in his own thoughts, the blue haired man decided he needed to calm down, wait things out and see what happened before he did anything.  
  
Over the next week, Grimmjow did his best to tuck away his suspicions and his fears. He even managed to convince himself he was looking too far into it. Not a day went by that he and the pale man that had been thrust into his life didn’t talk, or at least text each other. If Shiro awoke in the middle of the night, panting and shivering, nearly in tears from another nightmare, he knew he could message his new friend and count on Grimmjow to be there for him. When Grimmjow would find it impossible to bear his empty, silent home, Shiro would provide a perfect distraction, giving him something to occupy his thoughts with and help set his mind at ease. Though they had yet to see each other in person since the bluenette had dropped the albino off at his friend’s, they grew closer with each day. Each saw the same in the other; someone they could talk to, someone they could rely on and lean upon, an anchor. A companion when everything around them was lightless and lifeless.  
  
And so when Grimmjow’s phone buzzed where it sat on the arm of the couch one night as he lay across the furniture, staring up at the ceiling while his arm hung off the edge, his fingers tangled in Tensa’s thick fur, he didn’t hesitate to pick it up. Rubbing at his tired eyes with the heal of one hand, he activated the screen with his other. One corner of his full lips tilted up slightly as Shiro’s name flashed once before the message was opened.  
  
The text was simple and short, blunt just like the man who had sent it. ‘cant sleep’  
  
Sitting up, Grimmjow quickly typed up a reply, telling the albino he was in the same boat. From the floor, Tensa lifted his big head off his paws and rested his chin on the couch cushion to look up at his owner with pale, ice blue eyes.  
  
After a few minutes of back and forth messages, the two decided sitting around and thinking about sleep wasn’t doing them any good. Instead, they decided they needed to get out of their respective houses. Being that it was late, there was very little to do, so it was decided that Grimmjow would pick the albino up and they would take a walk around the large park located in the center of the city. The area was nice enough and the park it’s self was beautiful, with lush yards and healthy trees.  
  
Grimmjow stood from his couch and quickly made his way toward the back of the house, phone in hand and Tensa following on his heels. Entering the bedroom, a room he still hadn’t slept in since he returned home, the man quickly tugged on a pair of jeans and pulled a form fitting grey t-shirt over his head before turning about and leaving the room once more. He grabbed his keys, slid his wallet into his back pocket and pulled the door open. Turning to lock it, he was met with Ten sitting in the doorway, his ears down as he peered up to watch the bluenette leave.  
  
The dog never actually begged and only whined when extremely excited, but he was damn good at the puppy eyes, what with his already watery looking gaze, and after all the time Grimmjow had been spending with no one but the dog for company, he felt his heart sink at leaving him behind. Snorting a small laugh at the dog, he stepped back in and sent a quick text to his friend.  
  
 _‘You like dogs?’_ He didn’t have to wait long for a reply and he smiled down at Ten as the animal began wagging his tail, the appendage thumping into the wall near the doorframe.  
  
 _‘Sure. U dont strike me as the dog type, tho’_ Grimmjow’s smile turned into a grin as he read the reply. Rolling his cyan eyes, he snagged Tensa’s leash from the peg by the door. Before he had even affixed the chain to Tensa’s collar, the dog’s tongue was happily lolling from his wide, canine smile as Tensa excitedly made a quick lap around his owner.  
  
With a chuckle, Grimmjow caught hold of Tensa’s collar and attached the leash. He grabbed the dog’s favorite ball on the way out the door and led Tensa to his car. With the back window rolled down far enough for Ten’s big head to stick out, he happily sat in the backseat as they made the quick drive to the apartment Shiro was staying at.  
  
The pale man was waiting for him outside, leaning against the side of the building, his arms crossed and the long sleeves of his shirt pulled down to nearly his fingertips but his features weren’t unfriendly and he didn’t look particularly upset. When he noticed Grimmjow’s car, his trademark smirk slid onto his features and he pushed away from the wall. Tensa’s deep bark halted him as his inverted eyes widened slightly. Staring at the large animal, he spoke in his lilting and distorted tone. “I though’ ya said dog, not a beast.”  
  
Head still sticking out the window, Tensa tilted his head slightly, his ears perking forward at he man’s strange voice. Grimmjow chuckled and snapped his fingers, drawing the dog’s attention and making him sit in the seat.  
  
“He is a dog.” Grimmjow said as he climbed from his car. “A big dog.” Not bothering to grab hold of Tensa’s leash, he opened up the backdoor and let the dog out so that he and Shiro could get acquainted before the albino climbed into the confined space of his vehicle.  
  
Tensa, learning quickly under Grimmjow’s near constant instruction and watchful eye, looked up at his master before nearing the stranger standing before them. Used to watching over Karin and Yuzu while he had been staying at Isshin’s house, Tensa’s protective streak had been nurtured until it was second nature but that wasn’t a bad thing. When the bluenette didn’t stop him, Tensa eased his way toward Shiro, not showing aggression but certainly showing caution.  
  
Shiro held out one pale hand while the dog sniffed at him before he dropped to sit on his haunches and at eye level with the big creature. Tensa seemed to instantly take a liking to the albino, probably picking up on his owner’s acceptance and comfort with the man.   
  
“Wha’s his name?” Shirosaki asked with a smirk as he drove his almost elegant fingers through the thick, silky fur of the animal’s neck, below where his collar rested.  
  
Grimmjow leaned back against his car as he watched the two, his small smile managing to reach his vivid gaze. “Tensa.”  
  
“Hmm, creative name.” Shiro said, looking up at the bigger man before he stood and patted the top of Ten’s head fondly.  
  
“Yeah...uh, Ichigo picked it. Ten was supposed to be his.” Grimmjow straightened as well, watching as Shiro rounded his car to get to the passenger seat.  
  
“Ah, I see. So ya weren’ really a dog kinda person, then.” The albino smirked, knowing his words wouldn’t be offensive, though they could have came across that way to anyone else. Both were growing, beginning to be able to speak about their deceased loved ones. Their steps were small, but they were still in the right direction and the mention of the bluenette’s lost love didn’t dampen the mood as much as it once did.  
  
“Heh, no, but Ten’s kind of grown on me.” Grimmjow pulled the backdoor open again, commanding Tensa to hop in before he closed it behind the dog.  
  
With Shiro in the passenger seat and his dog in the back, Grimmjow restarted the engine and pulled from the lot. The drive to the park was quick, the roads deserted and the night quiet as the city slept around them. When they arrived, not a single other soul was to be found, but at the unnaturally late, or perhaps early, hour, that wasn’t surprising.  
  
Grimmjow let Tensa out again and didn’t hesitate as he threw the ball he had brought with him with all his considerable might, sending it sailing through the air to land in the well maintained lawn of the play ground. The dog shot off after it, his tongue hanging from his maw and his eyes bright and alive, leash trailing behind him.  
  
Shiro’s lilting laughter was almost haunting in the still air, but it wasn’t unpleasant and Grimmjow couldn’t help but grin with the man as he locked up his car and they slowly began following the cement path that wound around the perimeter of the park. Tensa slid through the slightly damp grass as he skidded to halt and snagged the ball. Turning about as quickly as his large size would allow for, which was still far from slow, he sprinted right back to Grimmjow’s side, the ball squeaking in his mouth as he chewed at it.  
  
The bluenette smirked and reached out toward Ten. A single command of “Here.” made the dog hand him the ball and Tensa happily and excitedly danced around he and Shiro as they continued walking, waiting for Grimmjow to throw it once more. When Grimmjow did, Tensa tore off after it again, enjoying the cool night air just as much as his owner and his owner’s friend.  
  
Their time together was mostly unbroken by talk, but Grimmjow and Shiro didn’t need words to make the atmosphere comfortable. The quiet wasn’t forced nor heavy and when one or the other did break it, it was in easy conversation. They were comfortable in each other’s company, like they had known each other much longer than the few weeks they really had. Anyone that happened by the pair would have instantly seen what they remained blind too, what they had yet to notice or perhaps weren’t ready for quite yet.  
  
They walked side by side, shoulder to shoulder with calm, unhurried strides, Grimmjow’s hands in his pockets until Tensa brought the ball back and Shiro’s at his sides when he wasn’t tugging his sleeves down over his pale arms.  
  
“Cold?” Grimmjow asked, his voice a quiet rumble to match the peaceful and silent park around them. He glanced sidelong at the albino as Shiro tugged his sleeves further down for the fourth time.  
  
“Nah.” Shiro mumbled, his lip curling ever so slightly while his ashen brows furrowed.  
  
When he said nothing else, Grimmjow sent him a questioning look, ignoring as Tensa nudged his big head into the bluenette’s hand. Grimmjow curled his fingers through the dog’s fur as he studied his friend. “What’s wrong, then?”  
  
The albino shrugged lightly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothin’ I guess.”  
  
“You’re really a terrible liar.” Grimmjow arched a brow and directed his gaze back ahead of them. He snagged the ball from Ten and tossed it ahead of them. If Shiro didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t make the man.  
  
Shiro snorted a frail laugh but his eyes drifted downward. “Jus’ still gettin’ used ta the damage. I’s not like i’s goin’ anywhere, but...” His voice trailed off as he shrugged again, once more pulling at his sleeves.  
  
Grimmjow understood. The smaller man was referring to the scarring that tracked his arms and body where hot flames had licked. A sharp pang of guilt made the bluenette wince, bile raising in his throat as his heart rose with it.  
  
He nodded his understanding and kept his gaze trained on Tensa, though he didn’t really look at the dog. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Shiro...”  
  
“Tha’ don’ make it any easier ta get used ta.” He flipped his hands over and looked down at his palms, at the hardly faded red that marred his porcelain skin and forever would. Digging through burning debris and pushing his way through the inferno that had been his apartment had not been kind on him. “Doc told me I was lucky I still had feelin’ in my hands.”  
  
The albino flexed his fingers, balled his hands into fists before he seemed to shake himself from his thoughts and let them fall to his sides again. Blue brows furrowed as Grimmjow’s angular features twisted into a barely concealed look of regret.  
  
After a few moments, his conscious tugging at his mind and making his hands shake where they rested in his pockets, Grimmjow spoke, his voice quiet and rough. He had to be sure, even if it scared the living hell out of him. He had to know. “Shiro...What did Renji look like?”  
  
It was the first time one of the two had inquired about the dead lover of the other. It had been like an unspoken agreement. Names had been mentioned, sure, but neither ever really asked for personal details, nor for the other to speak of the man they had fallen for and lost. Shiro frowned up at the bigger man, sensing something was off.  
  
Blue eyes cornered to look at the pale man, but Grimmjow’s gaze faltered and didn’t quite meet Shiro’s entrancing eyes. With a grimace, like he was forcing the words from the pit of his stomach and out his mouth, Grimmjow continued his inquiry. “Was...” He took a breath to steady himself, already afraid of what he would hear. “Was he a bigger guy, about my size?”  
  
Shiro nodded numbly, unable to pull his gaze away from the bigger man that had quickly become his truest and only real friend. His stomach twisted it’s self in knots and made him feel ill.  
  
“I...ah, shit.” Grimmjow hesitated, scrubbing his hand over his face, then pushing it back through his hair. Closing his eyes, he came to stop, finally halting their slow pace. With an indescribable look in his intense, crystallin gaze, he turned to Shirosaki and pinned the man without even touching him. “I-I did terrible things...Shiro...after Ichi died, I found the man that shot him...a big guy, about my size. He had long, red hair, covered in tribal tattoos...”  
  
As he spoke, his voice wavering slightly, Shiro’s eyes slowly widened, some part of him already knowing what was to come as he slowly put the pieces together. He shook his head, denying what his mind conjured up and all that came with it but he couldn’t find his voice, couldn’t tear his gaze away from the bluenette even as his vision began to blur through welling tears.  
  
“He-he had been trying to rob a woman when Ichigo found him, taking Ten for a run...The woman lived...she told me about him...” Grimmjow’s hands shook as he spoke, his legs feeling like they would give out at the look on Shiro’s colorless features. “I found him...and-Shiro, I was so lost...so angry...”   
  
The bluenette’s hand came up to scrub down the lower half of his face as he struggled with his words. The albino still said nothing, frozen in place as his breathing picked up in pace and a few tears spilled over to streak down his face.  
  
“I broke into...I broke in and beat the hell out of him and I didn’t even feel it...” The words were whispered, hardly audible even in the silence that surrounded them, but he couldn’t stop. Shiro needed to know, deserved to know. He couldn’t live with himself if he kept it from the pale man. “I left him bleeding in his apartment...and set the place on fire. He took everything from me...and I wanted to do the same to him...”  
  
A moment of silence passed before the tiniest hint of a sound passed through Shiro’s throat. His legs gave out on him and sank to the ground where he stood, his ashen features streaked with unchecked tears as he stared up at the bigger man. He didn’t know what to do, how to react. He wanted to deny what Grimmjow said. He wanted to scream and curse and tell the man his joke wasn’t funny. He wanted to pound the bluenette into the ground until his handsome features were black and blue and those beautiful eyes didn’t look so damn guilty any more. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.   
  
He had hated the person that had been responsible for Renji’s death while he’d been just a faceless bastard, but now...now that person was Grimmjow...and it killed him, ripped his heart out and left him feeling lost and violently ill.  
  
Almost making things all the worse, Grimmjow sank to the ground in front of Shiro, putting himself on the same level as the trembling albino. His jaw worked, his lips parting a few times but he couldn’t force words out. He had nothing to say. Sorry didn’t cut it, nothing would. His own gaze was watery as he watched emotions war and bubble in the albino’s haunted gaze.  
  
Without warning, Shiro screeched a wordless, lilting cry, his teeth bared and all his pain twisting his features. He launched himself forward, using his unquenchable rage to fuel his strength, and slammed Grimmjow backward and to the damp grass. Straddling the bigger man, his fist connected with Grimmjow’s jaw hard enough to jerk the bigger man’s head around, the sound of pale knuckles cracking against hard bone echoing in the quiet.  
  
Tensa dropped his ball, his ears dropping back and his teeth bared in a vicious snarl as he charged toward the man hurting his owner.  
  
“Ten. No.” Grimmjow croaked out around the lump in his throat and through the tears making his voice waver. The dog stopped, looking as confused as a dog could, but listening nonetheless.  
  
Shiro’s hands clenched into fists in the front of Grimmjow’s shirt as the albino’s shoulders shook with his renewed grief and anger, his breaths coming out in panting sobs. He pushed down, letting his weight settle on the bigger man, his shoulders hunched and his white teeth still bared. His ashen brows furrowed as he hit Grimmjow again but punching a man unwilling to fight back hardly felt satisfying. Hurting Grimmjow seemed to hurt him as well and Shiro let out another wordless cry as he jerked back and to his feet, stumbling away from the blue haired man.  
  
Nearly tripping as he backed away, Shiro shook his head in denial again but the proof was written on Grimmjow’s face, in his eyes. He was telling the truth and he hated it just as much as Shiro did. The bluenette’s pain made Shiro’s gut twist and writhe and he dropped back to the ground, cradling his head in his hands as he let his emotions flow over and wrack through his very body.  
  
Grimmjow unsteadily climbed to his feet, his head spinning with the force of Shiro’s hit. He took a single step forward before the pale man’s hands dropped, his head snapping up to pin him with fiery, seething eyes. Eyes that spoke of pain, of rage, of anger and grief and even betrayal, but no hatred. None at all.  
  
“Stay away from me!” Shiro screamed at him, his already distorted voice cracking and raw. His fingers fisted in the grass as he rocked slightly, back and forth, back and forth, tears streaking his pallid features. But he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Grimmjow. For all the world, he wanted to bury himself into the big man’s strong and comforting embrace but at the same time, he wanted to rip the man’s throat out. And, to make all his confusion worse, to make all his pain and his emotions that much more raw, he knew in that moment that Grimmjow would have let him either.  
  
Respecting the pale man’s wishes, Grimmjow sank back to the ground a few feet away, his head hanging as he watched Shiro, unable to help the man or find words to comfort him. The bigger man almost wished Shiro would hate him, it would have made things easier, less painful. But he didn’t and it hurt both of them. Grimmjow was left helpless to do anything other than watch the man he had come to care for as Shiro finished breaking.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of Watch the World Burn; From the Ashes. I hope everyone has enjoyed the ride!

Grimmjow paced his sitting room, Tensa following on his heal and pacing along behind him. He plowed one hand through his hair, blowing out a deep sigh as he did so. The healed scars on the underside of his arm caught his attention and he froze mid-step, pulling his hand away from his hair. He brought his other arm up to match it and studied the mostly healed but unfaded marks, still red and raised and foreign against his smooth, golden skin.

Shiro's scars were worse than his, more extensive and more noticeable. Shiro hated his scars and he only had them because of Grimmjow. The bluenette hated himself for what he did, not so much for the fire or the rage that had caused it, or even for burning the building down or taking Ichigo's killer with it, but he hated himself for what Shiro now had to go through. He hated himself for Shiro's scars. He hated himself for Shiro, because the albino wouldn't hate him like he should.

The pale man hadn't said so, but Grimmjow had been able to see it. There had been so much in the man's burning, watery gaze; pain, fear, disbelief, shock, betrayal, there had been a need for blood, for some sort of closure, but no hate.

He'd sat crumpled in the grass of the park for nearly an hour. Even after his tears had stopped, after his seething rage had cooled and left him drained, his lilting and shuttering screams going quiet, he'd simply sat, rocking slightly, back and forth, back and forth. Grimmjow had tried. He'd tried so hard to reach out to the broken man, but Shiro would have none of it, none of him, and Grimmjow didn't blame him.

After that hour, as Shiro sat in silence upon the cooling ground, his eyes wide and his mind lost somewhere else, Grimmjow had called a cab. There was no way the albino was going to let him anywhere near, let alone let him drive him back to his friend's place. The bluenette had paid the cabdriver for the trip to take Shiro home, he'd even paid him extra to walk out into the park and help pull the albino from the ground.

After seeing the taxi disappear into the city, just a blur of red tail lights lost in the sea of street and sign lights, he'd finally called Ten back to his own car and drove himself home. And that's where he was then; pacing back and forth, back and forth, in his sitting room and wondering where he was supposed to begin all over again.

Grimmjow finally dropped his hands back to his sides, still standing frozen in the middle of the room, his gaze trained on nothing in particular. He picked up his phone for the fifteenth time and sent another text begging Shiro to just send him a single message, just something to tell him he made it to his friend's alright.

Finally, after a few seconds, the phone buzzed in his hand and he nearly dropped it, not expecting a reply this time when none of the other messages had gotten one. Looking down at the screen, he quickly unlocked it and brought it to his ear as he realized it wasn't a text.

"Shiro-"

"I made it, but I ain't sure 'alright' is quite the word." The albino bit out in a rush of words, referring to Grimmjow's messages. His voice was low, raw and shaking through the odd distortion. "Quit textin' me."

"Shiro, I-" The call was disconnected and Grimmjow stood there with his phone to his ear until his screen darkened as it timed out and put itself back in sleep mode. His voice was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."

Sleep was an elusive thing that night. The hours passed as Grimmjow lay upon his couch, tossing and turning as much as the narrow space would allow for. The next morning, as Tensa whined quietly at the door to be let out, Grimmjow pulled himself up with a stifled yawn. He stumbled to the front door, brows furrowed and blue eyes shadowed from the lack of sleep and abundance of worry, but instead of opening the front door to let the dog out, his gaze fell upon Tensa's leash again and he turned away from the door.

Ichigo had once told him that running was an excellent way to clear one's mind, to let everything else fall away and just think. So Grimmjow ventured down the hall and found a pair of gym shorts to throw on. A tight fitting tank top followed before he made his way back to the front door. Leashing his dog, he opened the door and let Ten do his business before they took off down the road, the sun barely above the horizon but warm and bright nonetheless.

Grimmjow started out at a slow pace, not overly fast, but the longer he ran, Tensa happily at his side and no longer tugging at his leash to try urging his owner faster like he had used to, the quicker their pace got. It never reached a full out sprint or even a hard run, but Grimmjow found that, even though his body was still in the process of recovering it's endurance, he didn't really mind the out-of-breath feeling or the slight burn the faster jog brought about.

Ichigo had been right. As Grimmjow ran, the back of his shirt beginning to feel damp and cling to his muscled body, as his feet touched down on pavement only to lift off again, he pulled air in through his nose and let it out in slow, deep breaths through his parted lips, he felt the stress of everything start to lift. It didn't change anything. None of his problems just melted away, Shiro was still hurting and still lodged in the bluenette's mind. Ichigo was still gone and Grimmjow was still dealing with all of it, with the mystery of what to do with himself, of how to cope without what had been taken from him. There was no running from all that had happened, but that was just it; he was learning to cope, learning to continue moving forward.

As his physical body put distance between himself and his home, as his feet carried him across the city and Tensa ran vigilantly at his side, a sort of calm settled over his mind. Ichigo would always hold the largest part of his heart. Nothing would change that and Grimmjow didn't want to change that, but Ichigo was gone and no matter how much he wanted to change that, he couldn't. Nothing could. But Ichigo had helped keep him alive and Ichigo's memory would continue to do so.

So while Grimmjow ran, he breathed deep and let the fresh air wash everything else away. His heart thumped solid and steady in his chest. His feet on the concrete and the miles he covered, Tensa panting slightly at his side, the sweat that trickled down his neck and between his shoulder blades, all of it created a rhythm, a quiet tempo that was very much alive.

Shiro's night went much the same as Grimmjow's; restless and sleepless. After he'd hung up on the bigger man, unable to bring himself to listen to the regret and guilt he heard in the man's single word, his name all but whispered in that heavy voice, he'd slid to the floor of his borrowed room, his back to the closed door and his head in his pale hands. He knew that if he had allowed Grimmjow to speak, if he'd sat there and listened, he would have cracked and broke all over again.

He barely remembered the ride home, just a blur of the city going by before he'd been sitting in his room. All he could think about was Grimmjow and his confession, about how the blue haired man had been the one to start the fire... Grimmjow's words echoed in his skull, his reasons for doing it, what he claimed Renji had done.

As Shiro sat upon the floor, the hard wood of the door against his back going unnoticed as his body settled into a numb state, he found himself believing the blue haired man. As much as he wanted to refute what he'd said, what he'd implied Renji had done, he couldn't. He just didn't know if something like that would have been a possibility, if the red head would have been capable of that. Under normal circumstances, after they had gotten clean, than no, Renji would have never done something like that, but he'd just learned not long ago that Renji wasn't clean. Addiction and desperation could change a person and maybe he just wasn't the same man as he was when around Shiro.

Shiro blew out a sighing breath as he cracked his eyes open to stare at the carpet he sat on. His neck and spine felt stiff but he wasn't sure he could be bothered to care, so he stayed where he sat, his knees drawn up and arms thrown across them, head resting upon his arms. He wished he could go to sleep and wake back up to find that it had all been a terrible dream, that he hadn't even texted Grimmjow and told him that he couldn't sleep, that they had never gone to the park and that the bigger man had never said a word about what he'd done. But that wasn't going to happen.

His motions slow and a little stiff, like his body was little more than dead weight, Shiro pulled himself from the floor as the sun lit the horizon. He turned and pushed his door open, forcing a deep breath out in a silent sigh, his ashen brows furrowed and his features twisted into an almost unreadable scowl.

He passed the sitting room, his roommate not quite passed out on the couch. The slim man straightened slightly, cracking his half lidded gaze open just a bit wider to watch as Shiro walked by. It was easy enough to see that he was high on something but the albino couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

"Rough night?" The man asked, his voice too calm and drawling through the drugs clouding his system.

Shiro paused, his black on gold eyes glancing over to the man that was supposed to be his friend before he muttered a quiet "Tch." and turned away again.

"I got just the thing for you! Promise, they'll calm you right down, maybe even help you get to sleep so your not sitting locked in your room for another night looking like death warmed over."

Shiro's friend slowly, drowsily pulled himself from his couch and the pale man paused again, a little surprised he'd managed to stand in one try or that he'd even bothered to get up in the first place. The man fished something out of a bag and held his hand out toward Shiro, dropping a few little, unmarked pills into his white, up turned palm. Shiro stared down at the pills for a moment, his brows furrowing further and his lips thinning into a tight line. He'd never really been the pill type, but he'd tried just about anything he could get his hands on once upon a time.

With a deep breath, he pried his gaze away from his palm, grimacing as his eyes strayed to the angry, enflamed scaring that tracked his skin. He turned toward the kitchen, his original destination, and fished a tall glass from one of the cupboards, his friend trailing behind him the whole while. Standing over the sink, he filled the glass with cool tap water and glanced back down at the pills in his hand.

It was tempting. That familiar pull of addiction, of need, told him that it would only take one swallow and a few seconds to down the pills and numb himself, to chase away everything that had happened. Nobody would blame him; his lover had been killed, he'd been severely injured and hospitalized for weeks and to top everything off, the icing on his shit flavored cake, a man he'd grown to trust had been responsible for it. He had plenty of reasons to do it, even if it was only a temporary reprieve.

Shiro sneered and closed his eyes briefly, upturning his hand above the sink. He listened to the pills rattle down the drain as he brought the glass to his pale lips. As cool, clean water slid down his throat, the pills fell into the garbage disposal and Shiro turned away from the sink. If his hands shook slightly and something like want crossed his mind, he ignored it and swallowed it down with the water. Just like the water, his mind was clean, clear, even through his pain and anger.

He didn't want that, not ever again. He'd struggled so hard to get clean and stay that way and as much as it hurt, as much as everything weighed down on him, he wanted to face it clean and sober and he'd do anything to keep it that way.

Not looking back and not looking at his friend, he left the kitchen, glass in hand, and retreated back to his room. He locked the door behind him, ignoring the muffled voice that trailed after him.

His phone sat on the bed where he'd thrown it and he crossed the small space to pick it up. Flipping it open, he found a single message. It was dated for earlier that morning and he wasn't surprised that it was from Grimmjow. Anger flared through his system, having told the man to leave him alone, but he opened it anyway. His fire melted away as he read it and felt the genuine sorrow that seeped through the words.

"I know sorry doesn't fix anything and I don't normally say it, but I am. I don't want to say goodbye, but if that's what you want, I will and I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry, Shiro, and thank you."

Ashen brows furrowed as the albino closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. He closed his phone and set it, almost gingerly, down beside him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

In the next few days, the two didn't speak. They didn't hear a word from one another. Grimmjow never got a reply to the message he'd sent after he'd gotten home from his run with Tensa and he figured that was the closest thing to a confirmation as he would get from Shiro.

He didn't blame the man for being angry and hurt. He'd already proven that he would kill for the man he'd lost, but he didn't quite get the feeling that Shiro wanted him dead or even harmed. Shiro was just hurting and Grimmjow understood that, so while he desperately wanted to be there for the man, he kept his distance. He didn't bother him and he left the albino alone.

A week passed and the two went about their business. Grimmjow got up and took Ten for a jog almost every morning. It was something both he and the dog needed and on top of the physical benefits, it helped to further even out the bluenette's state of mind, to set him at ease and ready him for another day. He finally gave in and cut his longer than normal hair. He gave Tensa a haircut too, partially because with all the extra physical exertion from their runs, the dog was shedding all over his house, but mostly just because he thought it would be amusing. And it was.

Ten say patiently at the dog groomer's while his thick, shaggy hair was trimmed and thinned. When he was done, he resembled a giant, black and white lion with floppy ears. Grimmjow walked him back to the car and patted his side, grinning down as the big dog looked back up at him, his ears down and his big blue eyes doing the puppy thing quite well.

"Now we both look good." Grimmjow laughed as he climbed into his car after closing the back door behind Ten. He ran a hand through his own freshly cut hair and looked over his shoulder at the sulking dog. "Don't worry, it'll grow back."

Tensa just continued to pout at him and huffed a breath as he lay across the backseat, drawing another chuckle from his owner. Blue eyes turned back toward the front windshield and they ultimately found themselves at the cemetery. It was quiet and peaceful and they went undisturbed. Like their other visits, Grimmjow sat before Ichigo's grave, Tensa laying at his side, and talked to the late man for nearly an hour. He told Ichigo about how he and Ten were running again and he smirked while he talked about the dog's new hair cut. He could just imagine Ichigo's laughter at hearing about his beloved pet's reactions. Grimmjow told him all about Shiro and what had happened between them, he even went so far as to apologize that he had been entertaining thoughts of them perhaps being closer than just friends eventually, before everything had happened, before he had hurt the man for the second time.

At the end of the day, after Grimmjow and Tensa left the cemetery and went back home, Grimmjow once again stretched out across his couch, still unable to sleep in his bed alone. In an odd, half awake and half dreaming state, he listened to the tags on Ten's collar jingle as the dog shifted to sit up, letting out a quiet whine but in his mind's eye, Grimmjow watched as Ichigo smiled and shook his head slightly in good natured exasperation.

Blue brows furrowed as Grimmjow shifted where he lay, still listening to both his waking world and his dreaming. In the back of his mind, he knew Ten only whined when excited and there was nothing the dog should have been excited about at the late hour, but still he watched as Ichigo smiled behind his closed eyes and he wasn't awake enough to concentrate on the dog. The younger man didn't say anything but he didn't have to and Grimmjow was vaguely aware, somewhere in his dream clouded subconscious, that Ichigo was referring to his visit to the cemetery earlier that evening, what he had talked about.

He woke up later than normal that morning, Tensa sleeping beside the couch like usual. Pulling himself into a sitting position, Grimmjow yawned and rubbed at his eyes for a moment before looking around his sitting room. He didn't know what he was looking for, exactly, but he found the room just as empty as it had been the night before.

Shrugging slightly, he stood and stretched his arms above his head, pulling his abdomen tight and relishing the relieving feel of it, before he padded down the hall to his bedroom. Tensa arched into a stretch of his own before trotting after his owner, his tail wagging slowly behind him.

They quickly readied and went for their morning run even though the sun was already high in the sky, hot and shinning. They weren't gone quite as long as normal, nor did they run as far, but it didn't really matter and the exercise was still cleansing in a way only physical exertion could be. By the time they got home, it was just passed noon and Grimmjow pushed his front door open as he unleashed Ten. The dog went straight for his water bowl and Grimmjow smirked as he pulled his sweat dampened tank top off and made his way down the hall for a quick, cool shower.

When he got out, he ran a towel over his head to collect most the water from his hair, before quickly dragging it down the rest of his body. He wrapped it around his waist and pushed the bathroom door open further, letting the cool air of the rest of the house billow in and send a shiver down his spine.

Stepping into the hall, he was about to turn toward the bedroom so that he could find clothing, but his phone beeped from the kitchen, telling him he had an unopened message come in while he'd been in the shower. Turning back toward the front of the house, he picked his phone up off the kitchen table where he'd left it the night before and quickly activated the screen.

Shiro's name flashed across the screen and, sever blue brows creasing into a frown, Grimmjow stared at it for a moment before he dared to open it. The message was simple, straightforward and blunt like always.

'Theres a burger joint on the corner of 15th. I'll be there in 10'

His odd, soundless dream from the night before returned to him and he realized exactly what Ichigo had been referring to with his amused exasperation and Grimmjow suddenly felt a little silly for thinking he would have needed to apologize to Ichigo when he should have known that the younger man would have only wanted for him to be happy.

A slight smile on his features, he checked the time on the message, quickly realizing he'd received it twelve minutes ago. Muttering a curse, he dropped the phone back to the table top and scrambled toward the bedroom to get dressed.

It didn't take him long to find the place Shiro had been talking about. It was a small, locally owned sandwich place only a ten minute walk from the apartment the albino was living in and when he got there, he quickly spotted Shiro sitting at a small, two person table situated in the gated off, outdoor section of the restaurant.

Grimmjow didn't say anything as he approached the smaller man from behind. He rounded the table and sat down across from Shiro, only then allowing his eyes to stray to the inverted, gold on black ones watching him.

"Yer late. Tha's a bad message ta send." Shiro said, his voice a little flat and his tone indistinguishable. There was a slight annoyance there, perhaps, but his eyes told Grimmjow he was just as unsure about everything as the bluenette himself felt.

"Yeah...sorry...I was in the shower when you texted me." Grimmjow ran a hand through his still damp hair and leaned back in his chair as a waiter walked up next to the table, handing Shiro a plate loaded with fries and a double bacon cheeseburger with everything on it. When the man asked if he could get him anything, Grimmjow smirked and pointed at Shiro's. "Make that two."

The waiter nodded and hurried off and Grimmjow looked back over at Shiro. The atmosphere grew thick, neither really sure what to do or say. Finally, after a few moments of silence, Grimmjow spoke up, his crystalline gaze never leaving Shiro.

"Not that I'm complaining, but-uh-why did you decide to change your mind?" Grimmjow let his gaze drift across the other patrons. The restaurant was busy with the lunch rush, most of the seats filled but they were outside and the day was nice. Then he chuckled at a ridiculous idea. "I'm not about to get shot or anything, right?"

"What? Ya think I got mafia ties, now?" Shiro also snorted a small laugh and shook his head. "Nah. I just..." The albino gave a small, one shouldered shrug, a grimace flashing over his features and pushing his short-lived smile away. "My roommate's doin' a deal right now and I needed ta get outta the house and away from it. I think yer the only friend I got that's not, ya know, a druggy."

Grimmjow just nodded slightly, unsure what to say or if anything really needed to be said at all. The waiter arrived with his order and the two ate in a peaceful enough quiet, nothing but the din of the crowd around them and the occasional passing car from the road for noise. After what had happened, it should have been awkward, there should have been accusations and apologies, anger and sorrow, but there was none of that. None of it was needed. Eventually an easy conversation was struck up and the two found themselves able to laugh and enjoy each other's company, just like they had before Grimmjow had managed to figure out about the fire they were both involved with.

Eventually, Shiro leaned back in his chair, patting his now full stomach with one pale hand while he pushed his plate away with the other. Grimmjow absently noticed how he wasn't quite as careful about his movements anymore, not quite so gentle on the wounds that had still been painful the last time they had been together. It brought a smile to his handsome features, glad to see the albino was healing swiftly. He still wore long sleeves though, the scaring on his arms still kept covered as much as possible.

"So, ya think King or Red would be angry at us if we, ya know...moved on?" Shiro asked, still casually leaning back in his seat, though his gaze had drifted away from the bigger man to stare unseeingly into the crowd. "It's not like we gotta forget 'em ta do that..."

A smile quirked one corner of Grimmjow's lips as he too leaned back in his chair. His startlingly blue eyes dropped to settle on the table top as he imagined Ichigo shaking his head at him, telling him he was silly for thinking such a thing without using any actual words. "Ichigo wouldn't be. I can't really speak for Renji, but I'm sure he'd want you to be happy too."

Shiro nodded just once, his gaze still turned away. "Yeah. I think yer probably right."

Blue brows furrowed slightly as Grimmjow listened, trying to figure out what the pale man was getting at. Before he had a chance to speak up, Shiro continued, his startling gaze raising to finally look back at the bigger man, piercing and unwavering. The gold of his irises burned with an unwavering determination, the pain that had been there before pushed to the back to be dealt with later.

"I know I should hate ya... I tried, but I don' and I don' wanna either. I know yer hurtin'... an' I ain't tryin' ta replace Ichigo. I don' wanna do tha'... but I know I really like ya. I might- I might even... well, I ain't even sure I'm capable of feelin' 'at yet, but I know I like ya an' I wanna give this a shot." Shiro was trembling as he spoke, his lilting voice quiet but determined. Then his commanding gaze fell away from the bluenette's face and settled off to the side somewhere. "I'm sick a feelin' like shit. I'm sick a hatin' myself an the only person tha's been able ta make me ferget ta feel tha' is you."

Grimmjow's brows furrowed as he looked at the man. He brought one hand up to frame the albino's face and gently turned Shiro's gaze back to his, letting his seriousness and his sorrow to show in his frigid eyes. "Shiro... I-I did terrible things... I hurt you...I-"

"Ya didn' know me. Ya didn' know Renji... Ya were broken an' lost... Le' me find ya again..." Shiro's quiet, distorted voice took on an almost brittle edge but there was still strength in his eyes. The bluenette looked conflicted, like he didn't know what to say or what to think. His fingers trembled around Shiro's face as he struggled to hold his emotions in. "Ya don' gatta say nothin'... jus' think 'bout it at least..."

Shiro began pulling Grimmjow's hand away from his face so that he could stand and leave the man in peace. Before he could pull away though, Grimmjow found his voice.

"I don't want to think about it." He whispered as he surged forward and leaned over the small table. He wrapped one hand around the back of Shiro's neck, lacing his fingers in the soft strands of ashen hair there. His other held Shiro's chin as he connected their lips.

The kiss was gentle and chaste, over as quickly as it began but it rendered the smaller man speechless as his eyes widened and getting up to leave was completely lost on him. Neither man noticed those around them as the rest of the world seemed to fall away. Neither had been intimate in any sort of way since their respective lovers had been taken from them and the suddenness of Grimmjow's actions stunned them both, but it wasn't entirely unwelcomed.

"Don't go back there..." Grimmjow all but whispered as he pulled back a few inches, his bright blue eyes piercing and sincere. "Stay away from your roommate and what he's doing... You can come back with me...I'll take you to pick up whatever you need and then... maybe we can give this a try and see what happens."

Shiro drew a shaky breath and nodded slightly, unable to pull his inverted gaze away from the blue haired man he had befriended during his stay at the hospital. It felt like forever ago, though it wasn't more than a month. Still, it might as well have been a lifetime ago with all that had happened in that time.

Someone at the crowded shop 'aww'ed and the barest hint of color rose in Shiro's pale face as he and Grimmjow leaned back in their chairs once more. A small smirk tugging at the bigger man's features, Grimmjow ignored the sound and stood, grabbing Shiro's hand. They paid their bills and left. When they made it to Grimmjow's car, they climbed in and simply sat for a moment, not saying anything, not looking at each other.

Finally, Grimmjow broke the quiet and the thoughts that had been clouding them both. "You want to swing by and pick up your stuff or give it some time and head to my place for now? See what happens before we do anything?"

"Nah, if we're ganna do this, we might as well just go for it, ya know? Let's go pick up my shit." Shiro directed his vision out the window, looking back into the sea of people sitting in the open air section of the shop they had just been at. "B'sides, I don' really wanna be around them anymore than I gotta be."

Beside him, in the driver's seat, Grimmjow nodded just once and turned the key in the ignition. The ten minute walk to the place Shiro had been staying turned into a fifteen minute drive with the lunch time traffic, but neither particularly minded and neither were in much of a hurry.

They pulled into the parking lot and Shiro seemed to sink further into his seat as he looked about, recognizing several of the cars and knowing his roommate must not have finished his business just yet. They sat for a few minutes but no one came out, so it was decided that they wouldn't wait and Shiro let himself into the apartment, ignoring the few looks cast his way as his roommate tried to get him to join them.

Grimmjow, who was originally going to wait in the car, ended up following him in, not wanting to make him face those from his old life alone. So he hovered behind the albino, silent and rather imposing to everyone other than Shiro. To Shiro, he was a support column, a silent reminder that he'd changed for the better and that he was strong enough to stay clean this time around and truly leave all this behind.

The big man stood just outside the door that he presumed led to the albino's bedroom, his thick arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door frame. He trained his vision ahead of him, at the wall opposite Shiro's borrowed bedroom, but he kept an eye on the rest of people in the apartment out of his peripheral.

When the door knob twisted from inside the room, Grimmjow stepped away from the door and followed Shiro back down the hall. The smaller man didn't have much, just a few necessities that he'd boughten since being released from the hospital. Everything he'd had had burned with his apartment and he carried only a single bag as he and Grimmjow made their way back toward the front door.

As Shiro pulled the front door back open, his roommate stood from where he'd been slouched in a chair, the rest of his friends still staring at the two intruders. Shiro resolutely kept his gaze away from the man and walked out the door. One look from Grimmjow silenced the man and answered his unspoken questions before he could try to stop the albino.

Grimmjow climbed into the driver seat of his car and started the engine, looking over as Shiro tossed his bag in the back and climbed into the passenger seat. The smaller man sat and leaned back in the seat, tilting his face toward the ceiling of the vehicle as he blew out a held breath.

"Well tha' wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be." He said, a small smirk tugging at his features as he glanced over at Grimmjow.

Grimmjow chuckled and put the car in drive. He pulled out onto the street, drove passed the burger joint they'd had lunch at and cruised back to his house. The drive didn't take long, about the same length of time as it took to get to Shiro's friend's place since the lunch traffic had thinned and Grimmjow parked his car in his driveway hardly twenty minutes later.

They climbed from the car and as Shiro pushed the passenger side door shut, Tensa's deep barking sounded from inside the house. He paused in pulling his bag from the backseat and looked across the car's top to Grimmjow. "Is he ganna hate me now?"

Grimmjow frowned at him, his sever brows pulling together in question.

"Uh, ya know, coz I hit ya last time..." Shiro's gaze slid sheepishly off to the side and away from Grimmjow's searching gaze.

The bigger man's snorted laugh pulled the albino's gaze back. "Nah, just don't laugh at him and you wont have any problems."

"Laugh at 'im?" Shiro cocked a brow and hefted his bag up, closing the backdoor as he followed behind Grimmjow.

The blue haired man smirked and nodded, walking up the few stairs to his small porch and front door. He didn't bother explaining and instead pulled the door open, stepping back to let Shiro in. The smaller man glanced up at him before stepping through the doorway, coming face to face with the big dog.

Shiro paused in the doorway for a moment, covering his grin with his hand and stifling his amused laughter. He dropped his bag next to the door and moved to let Grimmjow in before kneeling in front of the dog, running his fingers through what was left of his shaggy hair.

"Awww, ya don' like yer new haircut?" Shiro cooed, ruffling the dog's ears. Ten wagged his tail happily, enjoying the pale man's attention, his tongue lolling from his mouth in a canine smile. "I bet yer ganna have all the doggy babes wantin' ya ta sniff their butts now."

Grimmjow choked a laugh as he bent to grab his guest's bag. Shaking his head slightly, Grimmjow carried Shiro's things down the hall, toward the back of the house. Shiro stood and followed him, looking around a bit at his surroundings. Tensa trailed behind them, his tail swaying slightly as he looked passed Shiro and to his owner as Grimmjow pushed the rarely entered bedroom door open.

Shiro hesitated as Grimmjow stepped through the doorway and dropped the bag on the bed. He took note of the way the bigger man didn't cast his gaze around the empty room, didn't raise his eyes from the carpet and the way his steps faltered slightly when he passed before the dresser. He dropped the bag on the mattress and turned right back around, leaving the room again. Shiro's gaze strayed from the bigger man to glance about the room, taking note of the large bed, the rich colors. He gave the photo sitting on the otherwise bare dresser top a quick study, his ashen brows furrowing as he put the pieces together and formed the obvious conclusion that this wasn't just a spare room.

He turned back to the door, looking up at Grimmjow and the set of his features as the bigger man stood in the hall. He didn't look at Shiro, didn't really look at anything as he patiently allowed the albino to look around the room, his long fingers tangled tightly in Tensa's fur.

"Grimm..." Blue eyes slid in his direction, settling on his own and almost determinedly staying there as the bigger man avoided looking at the room Shiro still hovered in. "I know yer tryin' ta be a good host an' all, but I'm really alright wit' the couch. Ya can stay in yer room, I understand."

A small smile twitched onto one side of Grimmjow's lips as he looked off to the side, his gaze straying to the bed for a moment. "It's not quite like that... I-uh-I'd prefer that you stay in here, and I can take the couch..."

Shiro frowned for a moment before his brows rose and he understood what the bigger man was telling him. He looked back behind himself and at the perfect, untouched state of the room. It wasn't dusty, nor did it smell as though it hadn't been entered, but it certainly whispered of a forced emptiness. It seemed colder than it should have been. "Alright. Fer tanight at least." He agreed quietly.

Grimmjow gave him a small smile and nodded before motioning for the albino to follow him. They headed back down the hall, leaving the bedroom behind. Grimmjow gave his friend a quick tour of the house before they settled in the sitting room. They spent the rest of that evening in a comfortable quiet. Even when they talked, it was conversation of no consequence spoken in low volumes so as to leave the peace undisturbed. Grimmjow ordered a pizza for dinner and they sat and watched a movie, Tensa curled on the floor at their feet, looking rather relaxed and happy.

It was like nothing had happened. Things were the same between them as they had been ever since their meeting in the hospital. Neither pointed blame about what had happened, it never even got brought up and while they both knew that it would have to be discussed eventually, both were content to leave well enough alone for the moment. It could wait.

When it finally came time for the two men to sleep, well into the night and the surrounding neighborhood silent, Grimmjow half trailed his guest to the bedroom and bid him a good night in the hallway before returning to the sitting room. He stripped from his shirt and lowered himself to the couch, laying upon his back to stare up at the ceiling for a moment. It was odd to have someone other than himself and his dog in the house again. It gave the place a more lively feeling, yet a more surreal one all the same. He half expected to turn and see Ichigo wonder down the hall from the bedroom, yawning as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

A small smile twitched onto Grimmjow's lips as he closed his eyes, tossing one arm over his eyes while his other hanged off the edge of the couch to brush his fingers over Tensa's much shorter coat. His thoughts centered around something that was gone, never to return, a ghost, but he welcomed the memories, no matter how real they seemed, and he drifted off to the sound of a cool summer night alive with nothing but the quiet chirp of crickets and moving bodies while the calming smells of jasmine and vanilla floated through the opened window in his mind's eye.

Just down the hall, Shirosaki a little awkwardly stripped to his boxers before climbing to lay upon the large bed occupying the house's only bedroom. He felt like he was intruding on something private and sacred as he lay there and slowly looked about the untouched room. The room itself was undeniably beautiful and it held an air of deep passion, but it was a ghostly air. The pain the unused bedroom held was just as deep and just as strong as that love had been.

Everything had been taken from Shirosaki, his home, his possessions, everything. When Renji had been killed, everything went up with the apartment, but when Ichigo had been taken from Grimmjow, the bluenette was left with everything as a reminder. Grimmjow couldn't get away from what had happened. He couldn't escape the memory of the man he'd loved and lost.

Shiro blew out a sigh and stretched out across the mattress, avoiding looking at his scared limbs as he raised his arms and crossed them behind his head. He didn't climb under the blankets as he closed his inverted eyes and after a long, emotionally wearing day, what with confronting Grimmjow and leaving his roommate behind, the albino quickly fell asleep.

Unlike Grimmjow, Shirosaki's dreams weren't peaceful. They hadn't been since he'd awakened in the hospital to find out what had happened. In his sleep, the albino tossed and turned, twisting himself up in the blankets he'd purposefully left spread across the bed. Ashen brows furrowed as Shiro jerked away from what only he could see. Panting with his nightmares, a few muffled whimpers crawled from his throat as his hands fisted in the blankets he lay on.

Behind closed eyes, Shiro saw nothing but fire, but it wasn't his apartment building burning this time, nor was Renji in sight. With wide, inverted eyes, Shiro watched as black smoke poured from a small, residential home. Glass shattered as the heat broke the windows. Standing inside the house, blue eyes locked with his own but the big man didn't move, didn't try to get out. In his dream, Grimmjow stood rooted to the floor as burning wood fell from the ceiling, refusing to leave the home he'd lived in with Ichigo. Shiro's lilting voice was a raw scream as he begged the man to leave, to get out and to safety.

Sleeping peacefully just down the hall, Grimmjow was jolted awake as a distorted voice cried out in the dark. Tensa started barking as something thumped from master bedroom, jumping from where he'd been laying on the floor beside the couch and running around it and down the hall. Grimmjow rolled from the couch, landing on his feet to quickly follow after the dog.

"Shiro?" He called as he neared the closed door Tensa stood in front of, growling and pawing at the wood. He didn't receive an answer as panicked gasps met his ears before the door was thrown open and his pale guest stumbled into the hallway, barely staying on his feet.

Eyes wide but unseeing, the albino stumbled from the room, all but collapsing into Grimmjow's solid form as he ran into the man. Tensa bared his teeth and snarled as he rushed into the abandoned room before wandering back into the hall when he found nothing.

The smaller man, clothed in nothing but his boxers, clung to Grimmjow as he panted and trembled. As he started to sink to the floor, Grimmjow grabbed hold of his lean and heaving shoulders and lowered himself to match, searching colorless, fear stricken features. They sat upon the floor in the hallway as Shirosaki fought to regain control of himself.

"Shiro?" Grimmjow asked, his voice quiet in the overwhelming silence of his home. "You ok?"

A few moments went by, the albino unresponsive, before he finally nodded. He didn't move however, his hands clutching almost desperately at Grimmjow despite his shirtless state as he trembled, his chest heaving and his eyes wide and focused on the wall hardly a foot away.

"Still having nightmares..." Grimmjow more stated rather than asked, a wince pinching his features as he tentatively pulled the smaller man a bit closer, letting the shaken albino rest against his solid chest.

Shiro nodded again, confirming what the blue haired man had thought. His panting breaths sent puffs of warm air against Grimmjow's muscled torso but their frequency began lessening as his breathing returned to a more normal rate. After a moment, his frightened, adrenaline fueled trembling lessened as well, turning into more of a slight shiver instead. Grimmjow felt the man swallow as the muscle of his jaw tightened for a brief moment as Shiro began to slowly allow the rest of his tense body to relax.

"Come on." Grimmjow said in a quiet voice as he slowly climbed to his feet, pulling the smaller man with him. Shiro stood under his own power, but his hands didn't leave Grimmjow and he stayed pressed against the blue haired man. "Let's get you a blanket, ok?"

It wasn't cold in the house, nor outside, but Shiro had yet to cease his shivering as the memory of hot flames refused to leave his mind. Grimmjow led him back into the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the bed. Pulling up an edge of the thick comforter that lay spread out on the bed, one corner twisted where Shiro's tossing and turning had messed it up, he pulled it loose and draped it over lean shoulders.

Shiro finally released the big man, his long fingers curling in the edge of the blanket to pull it close, his grip hard enough to whiten his knuckles had they not already been colorless. He sat hunched over slightly, his bare feet flat against the plush carpet as his legs hung off the edge of the bed. Finally closing his wide eyes, he took a deep, even breath and furrowed his brows.

"You sure you're ok?" Grimmjow asked softly, leaning forward to watch the man's features. This time, he didn't receive an answer, not even a nod as Shiro remained sitting where he was, unmoving with his eyes closed as he tried to rein himself in and get himself under control.

Grimmjow frowned, a worried expression tugging at his features. He straightened, taking a step away from the bed but a pale hand reached out, long, thin fingers hooking around his own to halt him. Surprised, Grimmjow looked down at Shiro's black nailed fingers before looking up again to meet his startling gaze.

"P-please..." Shirosaki's voice shook slightly, barely forced from his throat.

"I'm not going anywhere, I was just going to get you a glass of water." Grimmjow reassured him, still standing. "I'll be right back."

"I don' wan' it...jus' d-don' go yet..." Golden irises fell away from Grimmjow's vivid blue, looking off to the side with a haunted expression on his pale features. "...please..."

Grimmjow's frown deepened but he nodded and carefully lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed next to the still upset man. "Ok." He all but whispered, his blue eyes anchored onto the door frame and hallway beyond. After a moment of slightly awkward silence, Grimmjow let out a silent sigh and gave in to what his intuition and even what his body told him to do. With slow, gentle motions, he wrapped a strong arm around the smaller man's shoulders and pulled him close again. Letting Shiro rest his head against his bare chest, Grimmjow settled his chin against feathery, ashen hair as they sat, gently, slowly running his hand up and down one of Shiro's arms in a comforting motion.

For the first time since he'd left the hospital, Grimmjow sat in the room that had once been his favorite, but had since become untouchable and forbidden to him. His gaze strayed from the doorway, drifted across the room to settle on the dresser and the picture that still sat on it's top. Ichigo smiled back at him and a small, lopsided smile twitched onto on corner of his lips. He let his gaze travel passed the photo, took in the passionate colors, the plush carpet, the simple but beautiful bed frame and head board. His eyes took in the dark color of the sheets before white took up his field of vision as he peered down at Shirosaki.

"I'm sorry, Shiro." He said quietly, the sound rumbling in his chest where Shiro's head rested.

"Nah, 's not yer fault..." The smaller man didn't move as he replied, his voice equally quiet in the room he knew Grimmjow didn't like entering. "an' I should probably be apologizin' fer makin' ya sit in 'ere wit' me..."

"No." A small smile could be heard in Grimmjow's voice. "I-I think I needed this... a reason to come back in here instead of one to stay out."

"I guess neither of us got ta apologize then."

Grimmjow could feel as the man's fingers flexed where they anchored in the blanket as Shiro began fidgeting slightly, finally calming down enough to realize just what exactly they were doing and how they were sitting.

"Guess not." Grimmjow smirked. Using one arm to steady himself, the bigger man eased himself into a laying position, gently tugging Shiro to follow him with the arm still wrapped around the man's lean shoulders.

The albino seemed to hesitate, but not for long, and lay down next to the bigger man. Curling close, he laid his head back upon Grimmjow's chest, his hand resting next to his face, fingers comfortably curled against the relaxed muscle below his palm.

"Is this really ok?" Shiro whispered in the dark after a few minutes.

"I think so..." Grimmjow's arm tightened for a moment, a reassuring and gentle gesture. "Yeah, it's fine. Renji and Ichigo wouldn't want us to live the rest of our lives alone and miserable."

A small smile tugged at porcelain features as Shirosaki finally let his eyes slip closed again. "Yeah, yer probably right."

The rest of the night was peaceful. Tensa slept curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed, silently watching over his master and his master's new friend. Neither man stirred in their sleep, nor awoke from nightmares or memories. There was something comforting about being close to another man, about being close to each other. It felt right, natural.

It wasn't until the sun was high over head that either man stirred. Grimmjow skipped his morning run, comfortable and sleeping more deeply than he had in a long time, even though he lay in the bed he'd shared with Ichigo and hadn't been able to touch since. When he did finally awaken, he stretched before curling his arm back around the man at his side.

"Mornin'." Shirosaki yawned, not bothering to move, one arm slung across Grimmjow's abdomen near his waistline. "Yer phone was ringin'."

Grimmjow groaned, reaching up with his free arm to scrub his hand down his face. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Ya were sleepin' well 'nough ta not hear it, so I figured ya probably needed the sleep." Shirosaki shrugged slightly before he and Grimmjow began climbing from the bed. The albino unashamedly bent and began pulling a pair of jeans over his boxers as Grimmjow sat on the edge of the bed and stretched again, groaning in appreciation at the few pops and cracks that ran down his spine.

From the kitchen, his phone began ringing again. Grimmjow sneered lightly and looked over at the small clock that sat on his bedside table like he'd done a million times before. His brows furrowed as he read six am flash across the screen. He looked to the opposite side of the room, seeing warm sun filter through the shear curtains that covered his window. He shook his head, realizing it really had been quite a while since he'd been in his own bedroom and that the clock obviously said the wrong time.

When his phone persisted, starting up again almost as soon as it had fallen silent, he finally stood and left the room, leaving Shirosaki to finish getting dressed in privacy. Snagging the phone, he quickly activated it and answered with a sleep roughened voice. "Hello?"

"Jesus, Grimmjow... Everything ok?" Isshin's voice filtered through the speaker, worry underlying his tone.

"Oh, hey, Isshin." Grimmjow greeted, walking around the counter in his kitchen to drop into one of the chairs at the table. He stretched his long legs out under the table, tugging at the waistband of the pants he'd slept in. "Yeah, everything's fine, why?"

"I've been trying to reach you for nearly an hour... I was just about to drive over and make sure you were alright..." Isshin told him, sounding a little apprehensive. "You sure everything's ok?"

"Oh..." A sheepish expression crossed the younger man's features as he reached up to rub the back of his neck, easily seeing why the older man had been so worried. The last time he hadn't been able to answer his phone, Isshin had gotten a phone call from the ER. "Sorry, Isshin... I was asleep still...just woke up, actually."

A quiet, relieved chuckle sounded from the other end. "That's a relief to hear. You've been sleeping better lately? We haven't talked in a while, how have you been holding up?"

Grimmjow shrugged to himself before realizing he'd have to answer the question because Isshin couldn't see him. "Alright, I guess, better these passed few days. Slept in the bedroom last night. I forgot how comfortable that bed was." Grimmjow gave a short laugh as he shook his head. His blue eyes cornered as Shirosaki finally wandered slowly, almost cautiously down the hall, like he didn't want to intrude, to join him in the kitchen. He gave the albino a small smile before going back to his conversation. "What about you, how have you and the girls been doing, old man?"

Isshin chuckled again. "We've been ok. It's rough and going to take time, but we're alright..."

Grimmjow heard the older man take a deep breath and he fully understood, swallowing as his blue brows furrowed. Watching his expressions, Shiro also frowned and stepped up behind the seated man. Brash and quick to act as always, the albino hardly hesitated as he took a seat at Grimmjow's side and took his hand, offering what little comfort he could. Grimmjow looked at him again, a small but thankful smile on his lips. It made a matching smile cross the pale man's own features.

"So anyway, like I was saying; it's been a while. Why don't you join the girls and I for lunch? Yuzu's cooking~" The older man pushed away the heavy demeanor he'd adopted during their conversation, preferring something a little more light hearted now that he knew the young man he saw as a son was well and unharmed.

A genuine smile settled on Grimmjow's features, showing off his commercial worthy teeth but he looked over at the man sitting beside him. "I'd really love to, Isshin, but-uh-maybe another time... I kind of have company right now..."

Beside him, Shirosaki shook his head and whispered, recognizing the name of Ichigo's father. "I can find somethin' ta do fer a few hours, ya don' have ta skip goin' coz a me."

Grimmjow furrowed his brows at the pale man, a sure enough sign that he wouldn't be doing any such thing. From the other end of the phone, there was a pause before Isshin's joyful laugh filtered through the speaker. "Good! Bring him too, Grimmjow my boy. I'd love to see how he's healing up."

"What?" Grimmjow sounded a bit confused, his sever brows raising. "But-"

"Son, I may be getting old but I'm not naive or blind. I noticed it before the two of you ever even thought it was possible." Isshin sounded more amused than offended, but there was an underlying seriousness to his voice that let Grimmjow know he wasn't just joking, that he was being honest.

"But...I...what about...Ichi..." Grimmjow stumbled over his words, unsure what to say or how to explain himself. There was no fooling Isshin. There hadn't been when Ichigo was alive, when he'd first met the older man and had to endure a father's interrogation and there wasn't any fooling him now. Finally, he found his voice, though it came out as a whisper. "Isshin...I still love Ichigo...Even if-"

"I know you do, son, and I didn't mean to make it sound like I thought otherwise. I'm not upset by it, I'm actually really happy about it! I want you to move on, Grimmjow. I want you to be happy. That's what Ichigo would want." Isshin's voice was sincere and a little fatherly. He was relieved to hear that his deceased son's lover was trying to pick himself up finally, glad to hear that he wasn't denying himself what he knew the younger man needed. And he knew the albino from the hospital was perfect for that. They had gotten along so well, so naturally even while in the hospital. They were good for each other. Isshin could see that and he was thankful for that. "Bring him with you. I'm sure the girls will want to meet him!"

Grimmjow's deep voice rumbled with his laugh as he glanced over at his pale companion. He gave the smaller man's hand a gentle squeeze. "Alright, I'll ask him then. When do you want us over?"

"Well, it's almost noon already, so any time is fine." Isshin's classic, goofy smile was audible in his voice. Grimmjow told him he'd be over soon, Shiro too if the man wanted to tag along, before they ended the call.

After telling Shirosaki what the phone call had been about, and telling him that Isshin had extended the invitation to him as well, the two moved to the sitting room, taking up a place on the couch while the pale man ran his fingers through what was left of Tensa's hair.

"Ya really think it's alright fer me ta go? I un'erstand, ya know...this is Ichigo's family, are they really ganna be ok wit' the idea a me bein' wit' ya?" Shiro didn't meet Grimmjow's piercing gaze, instead focusing his attention on the big dog sitting on his feet and bugging him for a petting.

"It's fine, Shiro, they wont mind. Isshin's an honest man, he wouldn't invite you if he wasn't genuine in wanting you there." Grimmjow finally pulled his eyes from the man next him and leaned back. "But if you don't want to go, no one's making you. I understand it might be a little...awkward for you..."

"Nah, I'll go then." Shiro glanced over at the bigger man before he stood and wandered back down the hallway.

Grimmjow trailed behind him, all his clean cloths still in the bedroom. The albino quickly snagged his bag and went to the bathroom to change into something a bit nicer while Grimmjow pulled on a pair of clean jeans and a dark grey t-shirt.

After they readied, Grimmjow gave Tensa his morning bowl of food and told the big dog to be good before he opened the door for the smaller man. Ten sat down a few feet from the door, giving his owner puppy eyes as he tried to leave. Chuckling, Grimmjow told the dog they wouldn't be gone forever and locked the door on his way out.

The car ride was short and mostly silent, it wasn't until they were pulling into the Kurosaki family home that Grimmjow broke the quiet. As he pulled up the driveway, he decided he'd better give Shiro a quick rundown, just in case.

"Ok." The bigger man shook his head good naturally. "They're not really family, but they might as well be. Isshin's got two younger, twin daughters, Karin and Yuzu, that refer to me as their big brother. Yuzu's really sweet, she wont give you any trouble. Karin's a bit more feisty, you'll like her, but it's hard telling what she'll do... and Isshin...well, he's usually a bit...eccentric, not like when he's working at the hospital. He hasn't been the same since...everything happened, but he sounded more like his old self on the phone this morning, so it's hard telling what he'll do too."

The whole while Grimmjow spoke, Shirosaki stared at him in silence, his inverted eyes a little wider than normal. Grimmjow pulled the key from the ignition and looked over at the smaller man as he remained quiet. "What's wrong?"

"Yer makin' me nervous." The pale man answered bluntly, not bothering to skirt around the truth of it. Not only was he meeting those Grimmjow considered family for the first time, but it was also the family of the bigger man's deceased fiance and he didn't want to be seen as the one that was trying to replace Ichigo.

"Oh, heh, don't be." Grimmjow chuckled and climbed from the car. He rounded the vehicle and looked up at the Kurosaki home with a fond smile. "They're very nice people, you'll be fine."

The door was thrown open before they had made it half way there. Yuzu and Karin came running out as fast as they could, launching themselves at Grimmjow. "Grimmy-nii!" Yuzu exclaimed happily as the big man bent to hoist her from the ground. He ruffled Karin's dark hair, making the young girl glare up at him in a poor attempt at looking angry.

Laughing, Grimmjow carried Yuzu back to the door, Karin demanding his free hand while she followed. Shiro lingered behind a bit, but not because he was shy. He only wished to give the bigger man time with those he was close to. He knew how much they had helped Grimmjow after the accident. The two girls clearly saw him in the same light he saw them and when they stepped inside, it was obvious their father did as well. Grimmjow set the little blond girl down as Isshin closed the door behind the albino. Stepping around Shiro, he pulled Grimmjow into a fatherly hug before he finally turned to Shirosaki.

He shook the albino's hand, subtly glancing at the healed burn scars that covered his hands. He didn't miss how the man wore long sleeves even though the sun shown warm and bright outside. "It's nice to meet you under less painful circumstances."

"Yeah, you too, Dr. Kurosaki." Shiro smirked as he released the older man's hand, stepping a bit closer to Grimmjow as he let his strange eyes take in their surrounds for a brief moment, including glancing over Karin and Yuzu. "Ya got a real nice place, and a beautiful family."

A small smile creased Isshin's scruffy features as he laughed. "Thank you, and please, call me Isshin."

Yuzu tugged at her father's shirt, gaining his attention. "Daddy, is he one of your patients?"

Chuckling, Isshin nodded and looked back up at the pale man. "He was, but he's better now."

"Oh, that's good." Yuzu smiled up at the colorless man. "Were you in the hospital because you're so pale?"

Isshin's features dropped for a moment, a look of shock flashing through his eyes before he settled for the beginnings of an apology. Shiro, however, found it very amusing and he let out a watery laugh as he waved the apology off.

"Nah, I'm just weird lookin' naturally." He told the girl, wide smile never leaving his features.

All the while, during the entirety of the small conversation and introduction, Karin watched the way the pale guest moved and the small interactions between him and Grimmjow. They hardly seemed aware of any of it, but the young girl didn't miss the subtle, almost natural way they moved together, the way the pale man didn't stray from Grimmjow's side, or the way Grimmjow glanced over to him every so often, almost like he was checking in on the strange looking man.

Karin's eyes narrowed, a scowl crossing her features as she glared up at the tall, blue haired man her brother had been in love with. "I can't believe you..." She scolded in a low, warning tone.

"What?" Grimmjow's features twisted with confusion as he looked down at her, unsure of what she meant or how to take her apparent and sudden anger. At Karin's side, Yuzu glanced to her twin for a moment, studying the set to her more serious features, before her eyes widened slightly as if she realized what was going on, though nothing was said between them.

"What?" Karin spit out, more than a little venom in her voice. Beside her, Yuzu pouted and glanced at her twin again but said nothing as she redirected her lighter gaze to Grimmjow, a question shining back at him. "Don't give me that. You're just going to replace Ichi-nii?"

Grimmjow's mouth fell open but nothing came out before his jaw closed, the muscle tightening as his crystallin blue eyes widened into a helpless expression. His brows pulled together as he looked down at the girl, at the sister of the man he'd intended to marry when he was finally able to. Grimmjow shook his head slightly, at a loss. He didn't know what to say, didn't even know what to think or even feel. Part of him felt guilty with the girl's accusation. He thought she had every right to be angry at him, but then, part of him wanted to refute what she said. He wasn't replacing Ichigo, nothing could replace Ichigo...but Ichigo wasn't there anymore...and Shiro was, even after what Grimmjow had done, Shiro was still there.

Standing behind the girls, Isshin's brows shot to his hair line, a look of something close to horror crossing his scruffy features. He shook his head and shot Grimmjow an apologetic look before he reached forward and grabbed his dark haired daughter's shoulder, gently but firmly pulling her toward him and away from the two young men standing in his home. His eyes strayed over to the pale man in Grimmjow's company, giving the man the same silent apology. "Karin. That's enough-"

But Shiro wasn't looking at him, only at his daughter and his stern words were cut off by a lilting, not quite timid voice. There was something in the albino's strange, inverted eyes, something strong and determined, something not easily broken as he took a small step forward, almost placing himself in front of Grimmjow.

"Nothin' could e'er replace yer brother in Grimm's heart and I ain't tryin' either." Shiro's voice seemed to falter just slightly, like the girls anger shook him just as much as it did Grimmjow and Isshin, but his words were sincere, honest. He may not have spoken such things aloud yet, but it didn't mean he hadn't thought them, didn't mean he didn't believe them. "But tha' don' mean he can' heal an' I can' stand by his side. He can' be alone ferever an' he don' gotta stop lovin' Ichigo jus' coz he's wit' someone else or jus' coz he's tryin' ta be happy again."

Wide, watery blue eyes darted away from Karin's slowly softening features, grazing over Isshin to see his expression mirrored on the elder man's face before settling on Shiro's back and squared shoulders. It was Isshin who reacted first. A slight upward curve tilted his lips as he studied the pale young man Grimmjow had chosen as his companion, and even if the two hadn't worked anything remotely permanent out, he could see the strength of their unspoken bond. They had both been through a lot and it seemed they had already been through a lot together.

"Karin." Isshin said in a stern voice that his features didn't quite match. "I think you owe these two an apology."

Karin's dark brows furrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at the odd looking man Grimmjow had brought to her house. "Sorry." She mumbled in a short, sharp voice. Then she turned her eyes back to Grimmjow and her petulant frown slowly dissolved into something a little lost.

Blue brows furrowed slightly, but a very small smile tugged at Grimmjow's lips as he knelt to sit back on his haunches and be on the young girl's level. She watched him lower himself, than his piercing cyan eyes captured hers and she could only stare at him for a moment, nearly drowning in what she saw.

Karin was young, but she wasn't naive and she understood more than what most kids her age did. She stepped forward as he held his hands out to the side, stepping right into the embrace he offered her. The girl's arms circled around Grimmjow's neck as he wrapped his big arms around her tiny waist, giving a tight but gentle hug. Hiding her face against his shoulder, she swallowed and struggled to find her voice. "I-I'm sorry, Grimmjow... I just miss him..."

"I know you do, Karin...me too..." Grimmjow whispered back.

The little girl sniffled, her face still hidden against his shirt. She did well at covering the slight quiver to her voice. "But you're moving on..."

"I have to...If I don't, I don't think I'll make it, Karin...it'll kill me." Grimmjow hugged her a little bit tighter when something warm soaked through his shirt where she hid her face. "I'm sorry... I probably should have told you about Shiro sooner, but I didn't know what to do... Now I do, and I know that I want to be close to him..."

"But w-what about Ichi-nii?"

Grimmjow let a small but genuine smile tug at his features as he pulled the deceased man's sister back to arm's length so that he could look at her. She quickly rubbed at her eyes, hiding all traces of the few tears that had streaked her features. "I'll always love Ichigo, he'll always be here." Grimmjow tapped at his chest lightly. "But Shiro was right... I can love Ichigo and still care for someone else."

"You wont forget about him?" Karin asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet but just as stern and demanding as always.

"Of course not." Grimmjow told her.

"What about us?" The blue haired man grunted a derisive sound at her question and Karin watched his smirk widen just a bit.

"How could I forget about you?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around her waist and straightened, effortlessly lifting her to drape over one broad shoulder. An almost relieved giggle escaped her as she clutched the back of his shirt and kicked her legs a bit. "You're a turd, but you're the only family I have."

"Hey! I am not!" She defended as Grimmjow kicked his shoes off and wondered further into the house.

Grimmjow glanced over at Isshin as he toed his shoes off, still hoisting the older man's daughter over his shoulder. There was an almost nervous look in his crystalline eyes, something edging on questioning and apprehensive. Isshin nodded his approval of all that the younger man had said and, as Grimmjow's smile finally took over his features and he continued into the sitting room, the older man clapped a hand over Shirosaki's lithe shoulder, extending his arm out in invitation toward the direction Grimmjow had gone. His smile was warm, relieved in a way, as he followed behind the pale man, his other daughter's hand held in his.

Later that afternoon, after they'd all eaten lunch, they once more congregated in the sitting room, the tension from earlier no where to be found. Grimmjow sat in the middle of the couch, his strong arms thrown out to the sides, draped over the back of the couch. On one side sat Karin, on his other sat Shiro. Isshin sat in a chair across from the three, Yuzu quietly sitting in his lap. The older man watched as a shit eating grin spread across the bluenette's features, his vivid gaze cornering to glance at Karin as she focused intently on the game she was playing.

He chuckled, seeing what was to come before it happened and as Karin glanced up at her dad, Grimmjow swiftly but carefully pushed her from the couch so that she landed on her butt on the plush carpet. Grimmjow threw his head back in laughter as her look of surprise heated into one of retaliation. Shiro's lilting voice was added to the mix as the dark haired girl shot back to her feet and waisted no time in pouncing.

Still laughing, Grimmjow allowed himself to be pulled from the couch as a wide grin took over Karin's features as well. After only a few minutes, the two stopped in their horse play, Karin sitting triumphantly across Grimmjow's back, her arms crossed and a victoriously smug look on her face as he lay on his stomach, his elbow propped on the carpet and his chin in his hand.

Isshin grinned and chuckled as he watched his daughter and the young man that might as well have been a son. Still sitting with him, Yuzu giggled as she clapped and quietly cheered on her twin. Across from them, a smirk stretched Shirosaki's pale lips. "Ya loose, Grimm."

Grimmjow snorted and looked over at him. "Hey, she's tougher than she looks." He said playfully, making the grin on Karin's face grow even further.

But the grin turned into something a bit more curious, edging on sly as she shifted to look at the albino seated on her couch. She studied him with narrowed, calculating dark eyes for a minute. "Have you two slept together yet?"

Shiro's brows shot to his hair line as Grimmjow choked on air. "No!" Grimmjow quickly answered. "I mean, last night we did, but not...not-"

"-we didn' have sex." Shiro finished a little more bluntly than Grimmjow was planning. The smaller male could tell the girl could handle it, she was smart, she knew exactly what she was asking about. "We jus' slept in the same bed."

"Oh. Have you even kissed?" Her features scrunched up in an almost disgusted expression. Gold on black eyes shied off to the side though, the albino falling quiet. When Grimmjow didn't say anything either, Karin huffed. "Well? You haven't, have you?"

"Well...kind of..." Grimmjow said a little sheepishly, his deep voice quiet.

Karin rolled her eyes and stood up, letting him climb back onto the couch next to his guest again. She turned to look at them, her arms crossed and her expression set. "Then how do you even know you like him? What's wrong with you, Grimmy? Kiss him!"

"Uhhh..." Beside the big man, Shiro snorted a laugh, covering the lower half of his face with his hand to stifle it as his ghostly features just barely tinted a light shade of pink. Grimmjow's blue eyes darted across the room to Isshin and the older man shook his head and held his hands out in front of himself, showing the younger he'd get no back up this time. He finally turned his vision back to Karin, the girl tapping her foot as she waited for an answer. "We haven't quite gotten there yet... I-I'm working on it."

She threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch with an exasperated sigh and going back to the game she'd been playing before Grimmjow had interrupted her.

Grimmjow and Shirosaki left a few hours later with the promise to come back soon. After the initial meeting, it seemed the albino was growing on the Kurosakis, Karin included. As they stepped out the door, Isshin pulled the bluenette into a fatherly hug, offering the same to Shiro. The three, Isshin, Karin and Yuzu, watched and waved as the two young men climbed into Grimmjow's car.

The blue haired man turned the key in the ignition, bringing the engine to life, but he didn't put the car in reverse as he sighed. Beside him, sitting in the passenger seat, Shiro raised a curious brow and looked over at the bigger man.

Grimmjow gave him a sidelong look before turning in his seat and leaning forward. Before he could mentally talk himself out of it, before the albino could react, the bigger man pulled Shiro into a deep, breath taking kiss. It didn't last long and there was no tongue or teeth, but it was passionate and warm in an incredible way.

From the front of the house, Isshin smiled softly as he closed the door and turned back to his twin daughters. "That'a boy." He whispered, his voice barely audible.

The young man his son had loved was moving forward and while Isshin knew Grimmjow had been genuine when he'd said he'd always love Ichigo, he was still allowing himself to heal, to work to find happiness again. After what had happened, Grimmjow deserved that. He deserved to be alright, to heal and to breath, to find love again. Ichigo would have wanted nothing less and so Isshin welcomed it and knew the bond he was creating with Shirosaki would save both young men.

••• A few weeks later •••

The sun sat low on the horizon, wispy clouds trying to cast a shadow over it's golden rays. The light patter of rain on the window pane was soft and calming, as was the smell of fresh air and stormy weather to come that drifted through the slight opening. The sheer curtains fluttered lightly on the gentle breeze.

The large bed creaked quietly as the two upon it shifted, the larger half laying, half kneeling in the center. Sitting up slightly, pulling away from the albino laying below him, Grimmjow pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor. He settled his big but surprisingly gentle hands upon Shiro's still jean clad thighs, slowly, carefully running his hands up toward the waist of the smaller man's pants and the edge of his shirt.

Grimmjow hesitated, only letting his fingertips glide under the hem of the albino's shirt, just barely brushing the warm skin above his hip. Breathing just a bit heavier than normal, he looked up, letting his piercing blue eyes find Shiro's heated but nervous golden ones.

Neither had been with another man since they had lost their first loves, but they were inexplicably drawn to one another. But the sex to come wasn't what was causing either to hesitate, not any more. This would be their first time with each other, but they knew it was right, that it was what they wanted. They both knew their respective pasts were gone and buried, that neither of the deceased men would mind, that they would be happy that the men they had left behind were finally beginning to heal.

"They don't bother me, Shiro..." Grimmjow whispered, still not moving from his place where he knelt between the albino's legs. He would be patient for as long as he had to, so long as Shiro was comfortable in his own skin once again, skin that Grimmjow had played a hand in marking.

Ashen brows furrowed as Shiro looked down at the bigger man, searching Grimmjow's face. He wasn't so vain that they bothered him from an imperfection aspect, but they hurt him to see. He still remembered the fire like it was only yesterday, he still had nightmares, and his scars were a reminder of his failure. Other's saw the marks and their first reaction was pity, a pity he didn't want. It burned him nearly as badly as the flames had. He didn't like other's seeing his scars. He didn't want that part of his life open to the public. He didn't want the accusations and judgement that came with them, nor the self loathing.

But this was Grimmjow and the bluenette had scars of his own. They marred the underside of his muscled forearms, pale against his otherwise golden flesh. Shiro gently threaded his pale fingers through the man's tussled hair, letting his black nails scrape lightly at the man's scalp. "I know they don'..."

"I'm going to touch them, ok?" Grimmjow told the man, knowing Shiro needed the warning and needed the choice to stop him should he want to. Golden eyes edged away from Grimmjow, unable to hold his gaze, but the pale man nodded and gave him permission.

Grimmjow smiled softly, reassuringly as he began moving once again, letting his hand slip under the smaller man's tight fitting shirt and graze across the slightly raised, flame marred flesh on his abdomen. The scars weren't bad. They had healed far better than had been expected, but they were still there and they were still noticeable against Shiro's pale complexion. They tracked across the tops of his arms, his palms and the sensitive skin along part of his ribcage; the places the flames of his burning apartment had ravaged the worst as he had dug through the rubble, desperately searching for his lover.

The smaller man's breath hitched as he squirmed slightly under the almost too gentle touch. The bluenette slowly peeled the tight shirt up and off, making Shiro raise his arms so that he could discard it to the floor next to his own and continue. Blue eyes took in the expanse of pale flesh exposed to him, taking in Shiro's lithe build and toned torso. The scars didn't detract from the pale man's good looks, no matter what Shiro thought.

Without warning, Grimmjow dipped lower and let his lips graze what his vision had already taken in. Shiro's breath caught in his throat, the muscle of his abdomen going rigid. He froze, unsure how to react as his mind rebelled but his body accept the intimate touch. Grimmjow pressed a kiss over the worst of the scars upon his ribcage, letting his tongue wet the heated skin before moving to another location.

Shiro snapped out of his shock, his hands latching onto the man's broad shoulders as he shook his head. His fingers trembled, his black nails digging crescents into tanned flesh as he pushed against the bigger man. "Gr-Grimm...please, don'-"

Before he could continue his request for the bluenette to stop, Grimmjow spoke in a husky whisper against his abdomen, his eyes raised to capture Shiro's own once more. "Your scars are beautiful, Shiro. Don't be ashamed of them."

"But I-I..." His voice trailed off, unsure and still struggling to accept all that was happening. But that's why Grimmjow was there, they were helping each other heal, both the physical and the emotional scars.

"They're proof of your strength." Grimmjow told him, the muscle of his corded arms bulging as he pushed himself up. Not breaking eye contact with the smaller man, he rested his forehead against Shiro's, a smile tilting one side of his lips. "They're proof that you were meant to survive."

Ashen brows furrowed again, something shinning in the albino's odd, inverted eyes. Shiro wrapped his arms around the bluenette's neck, not glancing at the marks that tracked his colorless flesh, and pulled the bigger man down against him. White lips sealed over the more colorful pair in an almost tender way. With his well earned strength, Grimmjow kept most of his weight off the smaller man, letting his corded arms hold him up but he slowly allowed his lower half to settle against Shiro's.

The albino shuttered, a soundless gasp parting his lips as the larger man's rigid length settled against the inside of his thigh, unmistakable and heavy even through Grimmjow's jeans. Not willing to let the opportunity presented to him go to waste, Grimmjow smoothly invaded the other's mouth, letting his tongue peek between Shiro's parted lips.

White hands first flattened against Grimmjow's broad back before colorless fingers were curling and black nails were digging into golden skin for purchase. A small moan escaped Shiro's bared throat as his tongue caressed against and tangled with Grimmjow's.

As Grimmjow kissed the pale man, letting it grow even deeper and more heated in their mutual need, he kept the weight of his upper half supported on one arm as he slowly coasted his other hand down Shiro's side. The smaller man shivered against him, another barely there moan passing through his throat to be swallowed by the bigger man above him. Grimmjow's hand found the waistband of the albino's jeans. The tips of his fingers hooked inside as he slid his hand to the front and deftly unbuttoned Shiro's pants.

Pulling the zipper down, Grimmjow looked down at the pale man, finally breaking the kiss as he slowly reached between their flush bodies and inside the smaller man's pants. His big hand settled against the other's trapped and aching erection and Shiro gasped as his back arched off the bed. His hands tightened in their hold on Grimmjow, one sliding up to anchor in the thick blue hair at the back of Grimmjow's head.

Grimmjow gave the man's member a small squeeze, a smirk tugging at his lips as he looked down into heated, swirling golden eyes. Another, louder moan escaped pale lips as those inverted eyes darkened and Shiro lifted his hips, grinding across the front of Grimmjow's.

It was as clear of an ok to move forward as he was going to get, so Grimmjow pulled his hand from Shirosaki's pants in favor of beginning to tug the smaller man's jeans down his long legs. He took things slow, didn't rush it and made sure both himself and Shiro had time to think about it and time to stop it if they chose to.

But neither really wanted to stop, even if they were a bit hesitant, a bit unsure, and Shirosaki watched as Grimmjow, once more seated between his legs after discarding the pale man's pants as well as his own, dripped a sweet smelling lubricant onto his fingers. Grimmjow leaned forward once more, resting his forehead against Shiro's and searching the man's captivating eyes. As he connected their lips in a slow but deep kiss, the bigger man eased a single finger forward, slowly slipping it between colorless cheeks and into the man's entrance.

Shiro's breath hitched as he arched upward, pressing his body flush with Grimmjow's. Grimmjow's breathing came in a light pant, warm and steady against his collarbone as the bigger man broke the kiss in favor of slowly, teasingly licking at the side of Shiro's ashen throat. Black nails scraped against Grimmjow's chest as he withdrew his finger and eased a second in, slowly thrusting them in and out as Shiro's brows pulled together and pleasure twisted his porcelain features.

After taking his time with preparing the smaller man, Grimmjow dragged his teeth down Shiro's neck, brushed his warm lips across his clavicle and placed a few burning kisses against his alabaster chest as he pulled his fingers from the smaller man's body. A breathy whimper accompanied the loss as Shiro writhed under the bigger man, panting in slightly elevated, fluttery breaths.

Grimmjow lined himself up but paused, pulling back from Shiro's mostly smooth flesh for just a moment. He caught burning gold with his own darkened blue. He didn't speak his question aloud, he didn't need to. Shiro understood that the bigger man was giving him the chance to pull it to a halt, but the albino hooked one lean leg around Grimmjow's waist and pulled him forward as he leaned upward, catching Grimmjow's lips with his own again.

The bluenette smirked against him and finally pushed forward, slowly seating himself deep within his pale lover. As the head of his thick member pushed passed tight muscle, Shiro's body tensed and he held his breath, but the further in Grimmjow slid, the closer he became to loosing himself in the bigger man's heat and he once more broke their kiss as his head tilted back and a delicious moan permeated the quiet room.

Grimmjow buried his face in the man's bared neck as he slowly pulled back, groaning his own pleasure against flushed, heated skin, before thrusting forward again, deep and powerful.

When they were done, Grimmjow spilling himself deep inside Shiro with a growl that reverberated in his muscled chest as Shiro's seed splashed across his abdomen, they both collapsed to the bed, panting and quivering in the pleasurable aftermath. Grimmjow shifted to pull the smaller man close, smoothing his still shaggy white hair away from his face. Shirosaki turned toward the big man, wrapping one pale arm around Grimmjow's waist as he used his other to cushion his head. His odd gold on black eyes trailed his own colorless flesh, took in the faded, angry red of his scars, before going back to settle on Grimmjow's features, not a trace of the usual self loathing to be found his golden gaze.

Neither would ever forget what had happened, nor would they stop loving those they had lost. The tragedy they had endured would forever be there, scored across their flesh and living deep in their hearts and minds, but they were learning. They were growing and they were healing. The scars were there and always would be, but they were beginning to fade, if only a little.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome~! Please let me know what you thought ^_^


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